Crazy Rap (Colt 45)   Afroman

 
 
 A C 
 Colt 45 and two zig zags 
 D E 
 Baby that's all we need... 
 
 (repeat chord progression) 
 
 as the marijuana burn we can take our turn 
 singin' them dirty rap songs 
 stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong 
 and sell tapes from here to hong kong 
 so roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems 
 being high as hell flyin' through palmdale 
 skatin' on jaggy rims 
 so roll, roll, the '83 cadilaac coupe deville 
 if my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my cabby will 
 
 well it was just sundown in small white town 
 they call it east side palmdale 
 when the afroman walked through the white land 
 houses went up for sale 
 well I was standing on the corner sellin' rap cds 
 when I met a little girl named Jan 
 I let her ride in my caddy 
 because I didnt know her daddy was the leader of the ku klux klan 
 we fucked on the bed 
 fucked on the floor 
 fucked so long I grew a fuckin' afro 
 then I fucked to the left (left) 
 fucked to the right (right) 
 she sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white 
 thought to myself sheeba-sheeba 
 got my ass lookin' like a zebra 
 I put on my clothes and I was on my way 
 until her daddy pulled up in a chevrolet 
 and so I ran I jumped out the back window 
 but her daddy he was waitin' with a two-by-four 
 he beat me to the left 
 be beat me to the right 
 the motherfucker beat my ass all night 
 but I ain't mad at her prejudice dad 
 thats the best damn pussy I ever had 
 got a bag of weed and a bottle of water 
 I'm gonna fuck that bitch just one more time 
 
 [CHORUS] 
 
 I met this lady in hollywood 
 she had green hair but damn she looked good 
 I took her to my house because she was fine 
 but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine 
 
 I met this lady from Japan 
 never made love with an african 
 I fucked her once, fucked her twice 
 I ate that pussy like shrimp-fried rice 
 
 Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya (tell ya) 
 I met a woman in the heart of Australia 
 Had a big butt and big titties too 
 So I hopped in her ass like Kangaroo 
 
 See I met this woman from Hawaii 
 stuck it in her ass and she said "aiee" 
 lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch 
 then her titties busted open with hawaiian punch 
 
 I met colonel sanders wife in the state of kentucky 
 said I'd brought some chicken if you'd just fuck me 
 I came in her mouth, it was a crisis 
 I gave her my secert blend of herbs and spices 
 
 said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need 
 we can go to the park, after dark 
 smoke that tumbleweed 
 as the marijuana burn we can take our turn 
 singin' them dirty rap songs 
 stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong (hey wait a minute) 
 and sell tapes from here to hong kong 
 
 I met dolly parton in Tennessee 
 Her titties were filled with hennesee 
 that country music really drove me crazy 
 but I rode that ass and said yes miss daisy 
 met this lady in oklahoma 
 put that pussy in a coma 
 met this lady in michigan 
 I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch again 
 met a real black girl down in south carolina 
 fucked her until she turned into a white albina 
 fucked this hooker in Iowa 
 I fucked her on credit, so I owe her 
 fucked this girl down in Georgia 
 came in her mouth, man I thought I told ya 
 met this beautiful sexy hoe 
 she just ran across the border of mexico 
 fine young thing said her names maria 
 I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla 
 I wanna get married but I cant afford it 
 I know I'm gonna cry when she get deported 
 
 said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need 
 we can go to the park, after dark, 
 smoke that tumbleweed 
 as the marijuana burn we can take our turn 
 singin' them dirty rap songs 
 stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong 
 (hey wait a minute man, hey fuck that shit) 
 and sell tapes from here to hong kong 
 
 have you ever went over a girls house to fuck 
 but the pussy just ain't no good 
 I mean you gettin' upset because you cant get her wet 
 plus you in the wrong neighborhood 
 so you try to play it off and eat the pussy 
 but it take her so long to come 
 then a dude walk in thats her big boyfriend 
 and he asks you where you from 
 so you wipe your mouth and you try to explain 
 you start talkin' real fast 
 but he already mad cause you fuckin' his wife 
 so he start beatin' on you ass 
 now your clothes all muddy 
 your nose all bloody 
 your dick was hard but now its soft 
 you thought you had a girl to rock your world 
 now you still gotta go jack off