Half a Man Stephen Lynch
[E] [G] [D] [C]
E|-0----3----2----0-| B|-0----0----3----1-| G|-1----0----2----0-| D|-2----0----0----2-| A|-2----2----X----3-| E|-0----3----X----X-|
Verse 1:
All my [E]days,
I [G]live with [D]my disg[E]race
I'm [G]afraid to [D]show my [E]face
Or at l[G]east take [D]off my [C]underwear...
See I was [E]born
Like a [G]half way [D]neutered [E]pet
I don’t [G]have a [D]matching [E]set
It’s a [G]part of [D]me
That [C]just aint there
Please, don’t stare
Chorus
Well I’m a [E]gambling man with[G] out two dice
I’m like [E]Uncle Ben with only one [G]grain of rice
Oh to [E]have two testis would [G]be so nice
But I’m h[D]alf [C]a ma[E]n
Yeah, I’m [D]half [C]a man[E]
Verse2
Wanna [E]die
end it a[G]ll, just [D]call it [E]quits
I can’t [G]find a [D]cup that [E]fits
And at [G]baseball [D]games I [C]feel so dumb
When I [C]hear “ball one?
Oh, my [E]God
How could [G]you have [D]been so [E]cruel
To give [G]me one [D]family [E]jewel
And the [G]one that’s [D]there must [C]feel so sad
He’s a [C]lonely nad
Chorus 2
Well I’m a [E]marathon runner with [G]just one leg
I’m a [E]fallopian tube with j[G]ust one egg
Oh, I [E]want another testi
Do I [G]have to beg?
I’m [D]half [C]a [E]man
Yeah, im [D]half [C]a [E]man
Bridge
E..G...E...G...E...G...D...C
kinda like chorus
Chorus 3
Well I’m a [E]tweedle dee with no tweedle d[G]um
And I’m a [E]Siskel and an Ebert with just one [G]thumb
And I’m a [E]Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of [G]rum
I’m just [D]half [C]a m[E]an
Yeah, I’m [D]half [C]a m[E]an
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