

| G | Bm | Em | Em7 | C | C | |
| (intro) |
| G | Bm | Em | C | Em | Am | Cmaj7 | |
| I read the | news today, oh | boy, | about a | lucky man who | made the grade |
| G | Bm | Em | C | F | Em | Em7 | |
| And though the | news was rather | sad, | well I just | had to laugh |
| C | F | Em | Cmaj7 | |
| I saw the | photograph |
| G | Bm | Em | C | Em | Am | Cmaj7 | |
| He blew his | mind out in a | car, | he didn't | notice that the | lights had changed |
| G | Bm | Em | C | F | |
| A crowd of | people stood and | stared, | they'd seen his | face before |
| Em | Em7 | C | |
| Nobody was really sure if | he was from the House of | Lords |
| G | Bm | Em | C | Em | Am | Cmaj7 | |
| I saw a | film today, oh | boy, | the English | army had just | won the war |
| G | Bm | Em | C | F | |
| A crowd of | people turned a | way, | but I just | had to look |
| Em | Em7 | C | |
| Having | read the | book |
| Bm | G | G? | E | |
| I'd love to | turn .... | you .... | on .... |
| E | D | |
| Woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across my | head |
| E | F#m7 | E | F#m7 | |
| Found my | way downstairs and | drank a cup, and | looking up I | noticed I was late |
| E | D | |
| Found my coat, and grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds | flat |
| E | F#m7 | E | F#m7 | |
| Found my | way upstairs and | had a smoke, and | somebody spoke and I | went into a dream |
| C | G | D | A | C | G | D | A | |
| Ahhhhh... | Ahhhhh... |
| G | Bm | Em | C | Em | Am | Cmaj7 | |
| I read the | news today, oh | boy, | four thousand | holes in Blackburn | Lancashire |
| G | Bm | Em | C | F | |
| And though the | holes were rather | small, | they had to | count them all |
| Em | Em7 | C | |
| Now they know how many holes it | takes to fill the Albert | Hall |
| Bm | G | G? | E | |
| I'd love to | turn .... | you .... | on .... |
yeah the E? is actually an Em7, or in this case Em7 (Type 2)
Tip from Evert (Holland):
After the intermezzo (C-G-D-A C-G-D-A) I suggest you play: A-D-C-D G
Here are a few corrections in the lyrics:
Error: Wake up, fell out of bed
Correct: WOKE up, GOT out of bed
Error: dragged a combed
Correct: dragged a COMB
Error: Grabbed my coat
Correct: FOUND my coat
Error: Blackburn Lacanshire
Correct: Blackburn LANCASHIRE