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Plastic Jesus   Cool Hand Luke

 Plastic Jesus  Cool Hand Luke






Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I have my plastic Jesus, Riding on the dashboard of my car


Through all trials and tribulations, We will travel every nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.







Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus - Riding on the dashboard of my car


Through all trials and tribulations, We will travel every nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.







I don't care if it rains or freezes, 's long as I've got my Plastic Jesus


Glued to the dashboard of my car, You can buy Him phosphorescent


Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant, Take Him with you when you're travelling far.





I don't care if it's dark or scary, Long as I have magnetic Mary,


Ridin' on the dashboard of my car, I feel I'm protected amply,


I've got the whole damn Holy Family, Riding on the dashboard of my car.





You can buy a Sweet Madonna, Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a


Pedestal of abalone shell, Goin' ninety, I'm not wary


'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary, Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell.





I don't care if it bumps or jostles, Long as I got the Twelve Apostles


Bolted to the dashboard of my car, Don't I have a pious mess


Such a crowd of holiness, Strung across the dashboard of my car





No, I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I have my plastic Jesus,


Riding on the dashboard of my car, But I think he'll have to go,


His magnet ruins my radio, And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar.





Riding through the thoroughfare, with his nose up in the air


A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind


Trouble coming, he don't see, he just keeps his eyes on me


And any other thing that lies behind







Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car


Though the sun shines on his back, makes him peel, chip, and crack


A little patching keeps him up to par







When pedestrians try to cross, I let them know whose boss, I never blow my horn or give them warning


I ride all over town, trying to run them down, And it's seldom that they live to see the morning







Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car


His halo fits just right and I use it as a sight


And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far







When I'm in a traffic jam he don't care if I say Damn, I can let all sorts of curses roll


Plastic Jesus doesn't hear, for he has a plastic ear, The man who invented plastic saved my soul







Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus riding on the dashboard of my car



Once his robe was snowy white, now it isn't quite so bright


Stained by the smoke of my cigar







God made Christ a Holy Jew, God made Him a Christian too, Paradoxes populate my car


Joseph beams with a feigned elan, From the shaggy dash of my furlined van, Famous cuckold in the master plan





Naughty Mary, smug and smiling, Jesus dainty and beguiling Knee-deep in the piling of my van,


His message clear by night or day, My phosphorescent plastic Gay, Simpering from the dashboard of my van.





When I'm goin' fornicatin', I got my ceramic Satan, Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home


The women know I'm on the level, Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil, Ridin' on the dashboard of my ...


Sneerin' from the dashboard of my ... Leering from the dashboard of my van.





If I weave around at night, And the police think I'm tight, They'll never find my bottle, though they ask;


plastic Jesus shelters me, For His head comes off, you see-- He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask.







Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus - Riding on the dashboard of my car:


Ride with me and have a dram, Of the blood of the Lamb, Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.





			
				
                    

                        
                            
                            
                            
                        
                    
					

					                           

                                

                                    
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