

| D | B7 | Em | |
| Joan was quizzical, | studied pataphysical | science in the home, |
| A7 | D | A | |
| late night all alone with a test tube, | oh, oh, oh, | oh. |
| D | B7 | Em | |
| Maxwell Edison, | majoring in medicine, | calls her on the phone. |
| A7 | D | A | |
| Can I take you out to the pictures, | Jo-o-o-o | an? |
| E7 | A7 | |
| But, | as she's getting ready to go, a | knock comes from the door: |
| D | E7 | |
| Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came | down upon her head. |
| A7 | Em | A7 | D | |
| Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer made | sure that | she was | dead. |
| Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again, teacher gets annoyed. |
| Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene. |
| She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away, |
| so he waits behind. Writing fifty times "I must not be so-o-o-o. |
| But, when she turns her back on the boy, he creeps up from behind: |
| Chorus |
| P.C. thirtyone said "We've caught a dirty one.", Maxwell stands alone. |
| Painting testimonial pictures, oh, oh, oh, oh. |
| Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery, say he must go free. |
| The judge does not agree. And he tells them so-o-o-o. |
| But, as the words are leaving his lips, a noise came from behind: |
| Chorus |
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