These are the lyrics to a parody of Joe Diffie's 'Pickup Man'.  This
version is written by Tom Batchelor.


Well I got this old tire
  As a baby,
Bounced a hundred thousand miles
  'Fore I turned three.
I was five first time my house burned down
And I was in the kitchen just screwin' around.
Well I jumped on this thing
  'N bounced out of the fire,
I just couldn't live without my tire.

Well it was late one night
  I was deliverin' a gift,
So dark I couldn't see,
  And I fell off a cliff.
Well it was scary, the ride sure was rough,
But I hit rock bottom and bounced right back up!
I coulda died and I ain't no liar,
I just couldn't live without my tire.

(Chorus)
Well you could take my stupid tire
Poke a hole and suck,
And I still wouldn't trade it for a pickup truck.
It's got eight-ply rubber
  That never has to be darned,
You know, if it weren't for tires
  We wouldn't have ... cars!
I've used this thing
  To escape from countless fires,
I just couldn't live without my tire!

Most any night I can be found
On the back of this tire just cruisin' the town.
Goin' bar-hoppin' along the rooftops,
If one starts on fire I'll just bounce right off!
This thing's gettin' old but it ain't no dier,
I just couldn't live without my tire.

Well you could take my stupid tire
And put it on a car
And I'd get out my gun
  And I'd blow your head off.
It's got eight-ply rubber
  That never has to be darned,
You know if it weren't for tires
  We wouldn't have ... cars!
Every year it just bounces higher and higher,
I just couldn't live without my tire.

A fire, a cliff, or the roof of a bar,
Once upon my tire'n you'll never want a whole car!!

(Chorus)