Half a Man Stephen Lynch
This song is really simple
Capo on 3rd fret
[E] [G] [D] [C]
E|-0----3----2----0-| B|-0----0----3----1-| G|-1----0----2----0-| D|-2----0----0----2-| A|-2----2----X----3-| E|-0----3----X----X-|
Verse 1:
All my [E]days,
I [G]live with [D]my disg[E]race
I'm [G]afraid to [D]show my [E]face
Or at l[G]east take [D]off my [C]underwear...
See I was [E]born
Like a [G]half way [D]neutered [E]pet
I donā??[G]t have [D]a matchin[E]g set
Itā??s [G]a part o[D]f me
That [C]just aint there
Please, donā??t stare
Chorus
Well Iā??m [E]a gambling man wi[G]th out two dice
Iā??m lik[E]e Uncle Ben with only on[G]e grain of rice
Oh to [E]have two testis would [G]be so nice
But Iā??m[D] hal[C]f a [E]man
Yeah, Iā??[D]m hal[C]f a m[E]an
Verse2
Wanna [E]die
end it a[G]ll, just [D]call it [E]quits
I canā??[G]t find [D]a cup tha[E]t fits
And at [G]baseball [D]games I [C]feel so dumb
When I [C]hear ā??ball one?
Oh, my [E]God
How could [G]you have [D]been so [E]cruel
To give [G]me one [D]family [E]jewel
And the [G]one thatā??[D]s there mus[C]t feel so sad
Heā??s [C]a lonely nad
Chorus 2
Well Iā??m [E]a marathon runner wit[G]h just one leg
Iā??m [E]a fallopian tube with[G] just one egg
Oh, I [E]want another testi
Do I [G]have to beg?
Iā??[D]m hal[C]f [E]a man
Yeah, im [D]half [C]a [E]man
Bridge
E..G...E...G...E...G...D...C
kinda like chorus
Chorus 3
Well Iā??m [E]a tweedle dee with no tweedle[G] dum
And Iā??m [E]a Siskel and an Ebert with just on[G]e thumb
And Iā??m [E]a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle o[G]f rum
Iā??m jus[D]t hal[C]f a[E] man
Yeah, Iā??[D]m hal[C]f a[E] man
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