| Asus2 | |
| X02200 |
| Em | A |
| Em | A | |
| He's a serious Mister shake his hand and he'll twist your | arm |
| With monopoly money we'll be buying the funny farm |
| B | F#m | A | |
| So I'll do flips and get paid in chips from a | diamond as big as the | Ritz |
| E | B | A | |
| Then I'm | calling it | quits |
| Calling it quits |
| Em | A | |
| Eyes the color of candy lies to cover the | handicap |
| Though your slippers are ruby you'll be led to the booby trap |
| B | F#m | A | |
| And there's no prize just a smaller size so I'm wearing the | shoe til it | fits |
| E | B | A | |
| Then I'm | calling it | quits |
| Calling it quits |
| B | A | G | |
| Now he's numbering himself among the m | astermin | ds |
| Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines |
| B | F# | |
| Lifting dialogue from Judy Collins | storylines |
| A | Asus2 | A | Asus2 | A | Asus2 | |
| Where | get-t | ough g | irls | turn into | goldm | ines |
| Em | A |
| Em | G | Bm | |
| But | oh, those polaroid babies | taking | chances with rabies |
| F#m | A | |
| Happy to tear me to | bits |
| E | B | A | |
| Well, I'm cal | ling it qui | ts |
| Yes, I'm calling it quits 3x |
| Now he's numbering himself among the masterminds |
| Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines (repeat) |
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