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	Am	Em
	All the secrets we hav	e shared

	Am	Em
Have	moved to a couple better p	aired

	Am	Em	Am
	So if he impales himself on	javelin or spike

	Em	Am
I will try my best to	be the perfect lookalike

And if he wants to be smart

And enter a property quiz

Every weed in the garden's mine but the lawnmower's his

	Am	Em	Am	Em	G
	Every weed in the garden's	mine but the lawnmower's hi	s

Chorus

	Am	D	G
And if his	manhood needs the help of scaf	fold or even a	winch

	Am	D	G
I wi	ll gladly supplement that	extra little	inch

	C	G	D
And if it	ever reaches t	ie-break at the property	quiz

	Am	D	G	D	Em
	If they've got my fingerprin	ts on,	they're my tits and	fanny not	his

	Am	D	G
	If they've got my fingerprints	on, they're my not	his

Now you've found someone new

May I watch him do what I used to do

So if he dies an ugly death or even if he faints

I'll be there at the window with my face pressed up against

Maybe I shouted too loud

Maybe you were blissfully deaf

But I hope he's a better sport than he was a ref

I hope he's a better sport than he was a ref

And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch

I will gladly supplement that extra little inch

And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz

If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his

If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his

I hope he likes to fly

And is a good host to every guest

'Cause there's less chance of dying in a

crash than being bored to death

Yes there's less chance of dying in a crash than being bored to death

And if his manhood needs the help of scaffold or even a winch

I will gladly supplement that extra little inch

And if it ever reaches tie-break at the property quiz

If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my tits and fanny not his

If they've got my fingerprints on, they're my not his

Now you've found someone new

By DannyInE

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