| G | |
| DEAR SIR I WR | ITE THIS NOTE TO YOU TO TELL YOU OF MY PLIGHT. |
| C | G | Am | D | |
| FOR AT THE | TIME OF WRITING IT IM NOT A PRETTY | SIGHT |
| C | G | |
| MY BODY IS A | LL BLACK AND BLUE, |
| Am | C | |
| MY FACE A | DEATHLY GRAY |
| C | |
| AND I WROTE THIS NOTE TO SAY WHY PADDYS NOT AT WORK |
| G | |
| TODAY |
| WHILST WORKING ON THE FOURTEENTH FLOOR |
| SOME BRICKS I HAD TO CLEAR, |
| TO THROW THEM DOWN FROM SUCH A HEIGHT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA. |
| THE FOREMAN WASN`T VERY PLEASED, |
| HE IS AN AWKWARD SOD, |
| HE SAID I`D HAVE TO CART THEM DOWN THE LADDERS IN ME HOD. |
| NOW CLEARING ALL THOSE BRICKS BY HAND, |
| IT WAS SO VERY SLOW, |
| SO I HOISTED UP A BARREL AND SECURED THE ROPE BELOW |
| BUT IN MY HASTE TO DO THE JOB I WAS TO BLIND TO SEE, |
| THAT A BARREL FULL OF BUILDING BRICKS WAS HEAVIER THAN ME. |
| SO, WHEN I UNTIED THE ROPE THE BARREL FELL LIKE LEAD, |
| AND CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE I STARTED UP INSTEAD |
| I SHOT UP LIKE A ROCKET, |
| TILL TO MY DISMAY I FOUND, |
| THAT HALFWAY UP I MET THE BLOODY BARREL COMING DOWN! |
| THE BARREL BROKE MY SHOULDER |
| AS TO THE GROUND IT SPED, |
| AND WHEN I REACHED THE TOP I BANGED THE PULLY WITH ME HEAD. |
| I HUNG ON TIGHTLY, NUMB WITH SHOCK |
| FROM THIS ALMIGHTY BLOW, |
| AND THE BARREL SPILLED OUT HALF THE BRICKS SOME FOURTEEN FLOORS BELOW. |
| NOW WHEN THOSE BRICKS HAD FALLEN FROM THE BARREL TO THE FLOOR, |
| I THEN OUT WEIGHED THE BARREL, AND SO STARTED DOWN ONCE MORE! |
| STILL CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE, |
| MY BODY RACKED WITH PAIN |
| WHEN, HALFWAY DOWN I MET THE BLOODY BARREL ONCE AGAIN! |
| THE FORCE OF THIS COLLISION HALFWAY UP THE OFFICE BLOCK, |
| CAUSED MULTIPLE ABRASIONS AND A NASTY CASE OF SHOCK, |
| STILL CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE, |
| I FELL TOWARDS THE GROUND AND |
| I LANDED ON THE BROKEN BRICKS THE BARREL SCATTERED ROUND. |
| AS I LAY THERE GROANING ON THE GROUND, I THOUGHT I`D PASSED THE WORST, |
| BUT THE BARREL HIT THE PULLEY-WHEEL THEN THE BOTTOM BURST! |
| A SHOWER OF BRICKS RAINDED DOWN ON ME-I HADN`T GOT A HOPE, |
| AS I LAY THERE BLEEDING ON THE GROUND-I LET GO THE BLOODY ROPE! |
| THE BARREL THEN BEING HEAVIER, IT STARTED DOWN ONCE MORE, |
| AND LANDED RIGHT ACROSS ME AS I LAY UPON THE FLOOR |
| IT BROKE THREE RIBS AND MY LEFT ARM, AND I CAN ONLY SAY, |
| THAT I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHY PADDYS NOT IN WORK TODAY! |