The Coroner's Footnote Half Man Half Biscuit
V1.
[G]There's a girl leaving town for the [C]sunshine
She's [G]heading out to Happiness [D]Bay
She's [G]going first thing in the [C]morning
And [G]hopes to be [D7]there by mid[G]day
Her flavoursome buck is aw[C]aiting
[G]Laden with fraudulent [D]charms
Eno[G]ugh for to plunge a [C]doe such as she
Straight [G]into his [D7]dastardly [G]arms
But the [D]tragedy lies in the [G]background
For a [D]young man by [Am]whom she's ad[D]ored
Is [G]planning to throw himself [C]under
The [G]train she's int[D7]ending to [G]board.
V2.
Now the fates may look down and show mercy
And answer a poor mother's call
And the service soon after departing
May stop for no reason at all
And the young girl may come to her senses
And the wretch may get tetchy and leave
And the chap wracked with anguish incarnate
May gladly accept his reprieve
But the fates around these parts are ruthless
And sometimes just want people dead
So he'll probably throw himself under
The ten twenty seven instead.
V3.
Now the engine is leaving the station
The cow has been scraped from the line
And two letters by way of explanation
Have been written for those left behind
And should there develop high drama
Upon which an inquest is heard
You may like to curb your lamenting
Until you've all heard the last word
Well he thought of a love unrequited
And he thought of a life full of pain
It's a pity he didn't spare a thought for
The poor bastard driving the train.
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