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Im going to hire a wino

David Frizzell
 F1
 like many nights before
 C1
 I finally made it to my feet
 F1C1
as she opened up the door        
 C1G1C1
and she said, "You're not gonna do this anymore."            

 C
She said, "I'm going to hire a wino
 F
to decorate our home,
 C
so you'll feel more at ease here,
 G
and you won't need to roam.        
 C
We'll take out the dining room table
 F
we'll put a bar along that wall,
 C
and a neon sign will point the way
 GC
to our bathroom down the hall"          
 C
                                    She said, "Just bring those Friday paychecks
 F
and I'll cash them all right here.
 C
And I'll keep on tab for all your friends
 G
their favorite kind of beer.    
 C
And for you I'll always keep in stock
 F
those soft aluminum cans,
 C
and when you're feeling macho        
 GC
you can crush'em, like a man."      
 C
                                    She said, "We'll rip out all the carpet,
 F
and put sawdust on the floor.
 C
Serve hard-boiled eggs and pretzels,       
 G
and I won't cook no more.       
 C
There'll be Monday night football
 F
on TV above the bar,
 C
and a payphone in the hallway      
 GC
when your friends can't find their car."         

 D
She said, "I'm gonna hire a wino,
 G
to decorate our home.
 D
So you'll feel more at ease here  
 A
and you won't need to roam.        
 D
We'll take out the dining room table
 G
and put a bar along that wall,
 D
and a neon sign will point the way
 AD
to our bathroom down the hall"          

 D
She said, "You'll get friendly service,
 G
and varieted atmosphere.
 D
I'll slip on something sexy,    
 A
and I'll cut it clear to here.  
 D
Then you can slap my bottom,
 G
everytime you tell a joke,
 D
just as long as you keep tippin'      
 AD
we'll I'll laugh until you're broke."

 D
She said, "Instead of a family quarrel,
 G
we'll have a barroom brawl.
 D
When the ham's bear says its closing time,   
 A
you won't have far to crawl.      
 D
And when you run out of money,
 G
 you'll have me to thank.
 D
You can sleep it off the next morning       
 AD
while I'm putting it in the bank."  

 E
She said, "I'm gonna hire a wino,
 A
to decorate our home.
 E
So you'll feel more at ease here, 
 B
and you won't need to roam.        
 E
then when you and your friends get off of work
 A
and you have a powerful thirst,
 E
well, there won't be any reason why you
 BE
 can't stop off here first."

 F#
She said, "I'm gonna hire a wino,
 B
to decorate our home.
 F#
So you'll feel more at ease here  
 C#
and you won't need to roam.         
 F#
We'll take out the dining room table
 B
and put a bar along that wall,
 F#
and a neon sign will point the way
 C#F#
to our bathroom down the hall"        

(repeat and have fun with it)


A B C C# D E F F# G
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