| beloved song from the Hee-Haw tv show (in 3/4 time) |
| C | F | C | |
| Where, oh where, | are you to- | night? |
| C | G | |
| Why did you leave me here all a- | lone? |
| C | F | C | |
| I | searched the world over, and | thought I found | true love. |
| F | C | G | C | |
| You met a- | nother and < | Phht!> you were | gone. |
| . . . . |
| C | F | C | |
| I miss you so much, the | taters need | diggin' |
| C | G | |
| The corn in the field, it needs pickin' | too |
| C | F | C | |
| How | well I remember the | first time I | met you |
| F | C | G | C | |
| You looked so | purty a- | pullin' that | plow |
| . . . . |
| Your lips are as red as boysenberries |
| Your ears look like a big cabbage leaf |
| Your eyes bug out like an old pop-eyed mullet |
| Your hair's like haywire and hangs to your feet |
| . . . . |
| I thought that my love was all that you wanted |
| I thought that my money meant nothin' to you |
| I thought that the hogs would stay in the hogpen |
| That's what I thought dear, but you took them too |
| . . . . |
| Down here on the farm the weather gets messy |
| Laying around with nothin' to do |
| When you went away, you took my cow Bessie |
| I miss her darling, more than I miss you |
| . . . . |
| You took off your leg, your wig and your glass eye |
| And you shoud've seen the look on my face |
| I wanted to kiss, I wanted to hug you |
| But you were scattered all over the place |
| . . . . |
| I know that you loved me, here's my way of knowing |
| The proofs hanging out right there on the line |
| When I see the snow and feel the wind blowing |
| Your nighties hugging them long johns of mine |
| . . . . |
| The noises you made at our supper table |
| Your habits, my dear, were surely absurd |
| But how many times do I have to tell you |
| Soup is a dish to be seen and not heard |
| . . . . |
| Remember you phoned me a-sobbin' and cryin' |
| The dog bit your Maw, and drug her around |
| You said she looked pale and thought she was dying |
| I said "Don't worry, I'll buy a new hound." |
| . . . . |
| I had six kids and you had eleven |
| And we had a boy, and they grew like flowers |
| I wish you'd come back, without you ain't heaven |
| Cause your kids and my kids are beatin' up ours |
| . . . . |
| You took out your false teeth, your wig and your glasses. |
| You were just scattered all over the place. |
| I wanted to kiss you and hug you so tightly. |
| I guess that I would have if I'd found your face. |
| . . . . |
| I went to your house at three in the morning. |
| You had all them curlers and junk in your hair. |
| You would not have scared me and I'd not have run so, |
| If you had not looked like you'd wrestled a bear. |
| . . . . |
| I told you my darlin' you looked like a gopher. |
| Made you so mad, you haven't spoke since. |
| But tell me my darling if you ain't got buck teeth, |
| How do you eat apples through a picket fence? |
| . . . . |
| When I picked you up for our date last weekend. |
| You looked so pretty in your satin and lace. |
| But when I bent over and started to kiss you, |
| you popped a pimple all over my face! |