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Cemetary Polka Tom Waits
Uncle V[Bm]ernon,[G] Uncle V[Bm]ernon[G]
Indep[Bm]endent as a h[G]og on i[F#]ce
He's a b[Bm]ig-shot d[G]own there at the sla[Bm]ughterhouse[G]
Plays acc[Bm]ordion for M[G]ist[F#]er We[Bm]iss
Uncle B[Em]iltmore[C] and Uncle Wi[Em]lliam[C]
Made a m[Em]illion during W[C]orld War [B]II
But they're t[Em]ightwad[C]s and they're ch[Em]eapskates[C]
And they'll n[Em]ever give a d[C]ime t[B]o y[Em]ou
Auntie Mame has gone insane
She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
And the radio is playing opera
All she ever says is go to Hell
Uncle Violet flew as pilot
And there ain't no pretty girls in France
Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
They say he never keeps it in his pants
Uncle Bill will never leave a will
And the tumour is as big as an egg
Has a mistress, she's Puerto Rican
And I heard she has a wooden leg
Uncle Phil can't live without his pills
He has emphysema and he's almost blind
And we must find out where the money is
Get it now before he loses his mind
Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon
Independent as a hog on ice
He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss
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