if that aint country   David Alan Coe

#----------------------------------PLEASE NOTE---------------------------------#
{eot}
##This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the #
##song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. #
#                                                                                      
{sot}
#------------------------------------------------------------------------------#
{eot}
#
#
#Date: 1/19/02; 11:42:33 PM
#From: Thomas P Rivers 
#Subject: If That Ain't Country, by David Allan Coe
#
#Robert Frasier asked for this song.  It's a little 'crude' in places, but
#lots of fun to do for the right audience.  If you need it, an explanation
#of the Nashville Number System can be found by following this link path:
#Cowpie/Resources/Lessons/NashvilleNumberSystem#3.  For further help,
#email Tom at tipper194@juno.com.
#
#Tom Rivers
#                                                                                     
{sot}
        -        -        -        -        -        -        -        -
{eot}
#
#IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY
#David Allen Coe
#
#(SING)
#IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, IT'LL HAIRLIP THE POPE
#IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, IT'S A DAMN GOOD JOKE
#I'VE SEEN THE GRAND OL' OPRY AND I'VE SEEN JOHNNY CASH
#IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS
#(TALK)
#THE OLD MAN WAS COVERED WITH TATTOOS AND SCARS
#HE GOT SOME IN PRISON AND OTHERS IN BARS
#THE REST HE GOT WORKIN' ON OLD JUNK CARS - IN THE DAY TIME
#
#THEY LOOKED LIKE TOMBSTONES IN OUR YARD
#AND I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM WHEN HE WASN'T TARD - AND MEAN
#
#HE SOLD USED CARS TO MAKE ENDS MEET
#COVERED WITH GREASE FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS FEET
#CUSSIN' THE SWEAT AND THE TEXAS HEAT - AND MOSQUITERS
#
#AND THE NEIGHBORS SAID WE LIVED LIKE HICKS
#BUT THEY BRUNG THEIR CARS FOR PA TO FIX - ANYHOW
#
#HE WAS VETERAN PROUD, TRIED AND TRUE
#HE'D FOUGHT 'TIL HIS HEART WAS BLACK AND BLUE
#DIDN'T KNOW HOW HE'D MADE IT THROUGH - THE HARD TIMES
#
#HE'D BOUGHT OUR HOUSE ON THE GI BILL
#BUT IT WASN'T WORTH ALL HE'D HAD TO KILL - TO GET IT
#
#HE DRANK PEARL IN A CAN AND JACK DANIELS BLACK
#CHEWED TOBACCO FROM A MAILPOUCH SACK
#HAD AN OLD DOG THAT WAS TRAINED TO ATTACK - SOMETIMES
#
#HE GOT DRUNK AND MEAN AS A RATTLESNAKE
#AND THERE WASN'T TOO MUCH THAT HE WOULD TAKE - FROM A STRANGER
#
#(SING)  THERE WAS 13 KIDS AND A BUNCH OF DOGS
#A HOUSE FULL OF CHICKENS AND A YARD FULL OF HOGS
#(TALK)  AND I SPENT THE SUMMERTIME CUTTIN' UP WOOD FOR THE WINTER
#(SING)  TRYIN' LIKE THE DEVIL TO FIND THE LORD
#WORKIN' LIKE A DEMON FOR MY ROOM AND BOARD
#(TALK)  A COAL BURNIN' STOVE, NO NATURAL GAS
#AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS
#(TO CHORUS)
#
#(TALK)
#MAMA SELLS EGGS AT THE GROCERY STORE
#MY OLDEST SISTER IS A FIRST RATE WHORE
#DAD SAYS SHE CAN'T COME HOME ANYMORE - AND HE MEANS IT
#
#MA JUST SITS AND KEEPS HER SILENCE
#SISTER SHE LEFT 'CAUSE DAD GOT VIOLENT - AND HE KNOWS IT
#
#MAMA SHE'S OLD FAR BEYOND HER TIME
#FROM CHOPPIN' TOBACCO AND I'VE SEEN HER CRYIN'
#WHEN BLOOD STARTED FLOWIN' FROM HER CALLOUSED HAND - AND IT HURT ME
#
#SHE'D JUST KEEP WORKIN' TRYIN' TO HELP THE OLD MAN
#TO THE END OF ONE ROW AND BACK AGAIN - LIKE ALWAYS
#
#SHE'S BEEN THROUGH HELL SINCE JUNIOR WENT TO JAIL
#WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT SHE AIN'T NEVER FAILED
#TO GET DOWN ON HER KNEES AND PRAY - BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM
#
#TOLD ALL THE NEIGHBORS HE WAS OFF IN THE WAR
#FIGHTIN' FOR FREEDOM - HE'S GOOD TO THE CORE - AND SHE'S PROUD
#
#NOW OUR PLACE WAS A GRAVE YARD FOR AUTOMOBILES
#AT THE END OF THE PORCH WAS FOUR STACKS OF WHEELS
#AND TIRES FOR SALE FOR A DOLLAR OR TWO - CASH
#
#(SING)  THERE WAS 50 HOLES IN THE OL' TIN ROOF
#ME AND MY FAMILY WAS LIVIN' PROOF
#(TALK)  OF PEOPLE WHO FORGOT ABOUT POOR WHITE TRASH
#AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS
#
#(TO CHORUS, THEN END WITH)
#(SING)  I'M THINKIN' TONIGHT OF MY BLUE EYES
#CONCERNING THE GREAT SPECKLED BIRD
#I DIDN'T KNOW GOD MADE HONKY- TONK ANGELS
#(TALK) AND IF THAT AIN'T COUNTRY, I'LL KISS YOUR ASS
#
            [1]      [1]       [4]      [4]     [5][5][1][1]            [1]      [1]       [4]   [5]   [1]  (Singing verses)
            [4]       [5]      [1]      [4]     [5][5][1][1]            [4]       [5]      [1]      [4]     [5][5][1][1]            [4]       [5]      [1]      [1]     [4][5][1][1]            [1]       [1]      [1]      [4]     [5][5