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Sheriff Fatman Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine
[G]Sheriff Fatman started out in business as a [C]granny farm[Am]er
he was [G]infamous for fifteen minutes and he [C]appeared in [Am]Panorama
[G]Then he somehow got himself on board The [C]Starship Enterprise [Am]Allowance [G]Scheme
With a Prince of Wales award for pushing [C]valium and am[Am]phetamines
Now he's [G]moving up onto second base behind [C]Nicholas Van [Am]Wotsisface
At [G]six foot six and a hundred tons the [C]undisputed [Am]king of the slums
With more [G]alias' than Klaus Barbie the [C]master butcher of [Am]Leigh-on-Sea
[G]Just about to take the stage the [C]one and only [Am]hold the front page
[G]Fatman's got something to [C]sell to the [Am]capital's [G]homeless
At The Crossroads [C]Motelfor the [Am]no-fixed-a[G]bodeless
Where you can live life in [C]style you can [Am]sleep in a [G]closet
And if you flash him a [C]smile he'll take your [Am]teeth as de[G]posit
There's bats in the [C]belfry the windows are [Am]jammed
The toilets ain't [C]healthy and he don't give a [D]damn
he just chuckles and [Em]smiles and laughs like a [Am]madman,
a born again [C]Rachman Here comes [D]Sheriff Fatman
With his [G]valium, amphetamines his [C]sick notes and his [Am]phoney pre[G]scriptions
And just when you thought it was [C]safe to go [Am]back into the [G]kitchen,
Dead legs and [C]cracked heads [Am]Bunk-beds and [G]breakfasts
W[C]ake up[A] you sleepy headcases che[G]ck this[C] [Am]
G C Am (etc)
[G]Moving up now to take the place of [C]Nicholas Van [Am]Wotsisface
At [G]six foot six and a hundred tons the und[C]isputed kin[Am]g of the slums
With more [G]alias' than Klaus Barbie the [C]master butcher of [Am]Leigh-on-Sea
In a [G]hatchback from Notre Dame, the [C]one and only Sh[Am]eriff Fatman
[G]In goes another left [C]hook and now I'm [Am]losing my [G]patience
Someone call up Roger [C]Cook and The [Am]United [G]Nations
he's buying up [C]houses for [Am]hasbeens ([G]help me)
From [C]Lands End to [Am]Southend and Chelsea
There's bats in the [C]belfrey the windows are [Am]jammed
The toilets ain't [C]healthy he don't give a [D]damn
He just chuckles and [Em]smiles and laughs like a [Am]madman
Ladies and [C]gentlemen,I give you . . .
[D]SHERIFF FATMAN![A]
D A etc
END
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