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Zurf, you need to really worry when the therapist says " I'm going to need to call in my friend who is a panel
beater".

Kudos to you for doing it, next time will be easier, pretty soon you wont feel it at all.

Jamie

Great poem Phill, my opinion on the whole drug culture is pretty much the same as yours.

With all the knowledge out there from news reports to so called celebrities dying from overdosing I am constantly amazed that people START taking drugs.I'm sure they all think they are recreational users ( whatever the heck that means ) who can control the habit.

The odds at quiting for good at rehab are not so hot either so I find it difficult to have much sympathy for the users. The families that are affected are the ones I would try to help if I had the oppertunity.

Anyway, like I said , great poem.

Jamie

This is a lovely poem, I am sure many of us can relate to these feelings and thoughts.

Great job Tobijansma

I was visiting my daughter and son-in-law the other night
when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

'This is the 21st century, old man,' he said.
'We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, you can borrow my iPad.'

I can tell you, that bloody fly never knew what hit it.

Thanks M.B.

I am from Scotland even though I now live in South Africa so I feel entitled to make Scottish jokes.

Did you know that there are only two Scottish jokes?.

All the other stories are true.

Tell us some of Ole and Lena jokes that make you laugh.

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your   thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's noo aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few     seconds. Then he blushed.

And the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her  knee. Then he blushed.

Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, 'my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.'

"Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad, nodding.
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"

--

I had the good fortune to get invited by friends to see the Eagles perform at Soccer City in Johannesburg last month.
Those guys can still hit the high notes and play their instruments so frikking well.
Awesome is all I can say.

Seeing and hearing great musiscians inspires me to practice MORE!!!!!!!!.

This  is the
story of  the poor blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just
the pilot.He  has a heart attack
and dies.  She frantically calls a May Day:
"May
Day!  May Day!  Help me!  Help me!  My pilot had a heart
attack and is dead. And I don't know how  to fly.  Help me!
Please help me!"
All  of a sudden
she hears a voice over the radio saying: "This  is the tower.  I
have received your message and I will talk you through it.  I've had
a lot of experience with this kind of problem.  Now, just relax.
Everything will be fine!  Now give me your height and position."
She  says,
"I'm 5'2" and I'm in the front  seat."
"O.K." says
the voice from the tower.  "Repeat after me:  Our Father. . .
Who art in heaven..."

For those  who love words...
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.....and then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off? Well!!! He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell into wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The geology professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Perhaps when your arm heals you could play The first cut is the deepest by Cat Stevens.

I'm trying to learn a picking version of As tears go by by the Stones.
So far so good.

Jamie R

Sounds like fun toots. I will admit though that the Spanish is a bit beyond me, I mumble the verses and rock the chorus.

Jamie R

Would the price be " adjusted " too?.

Seriously now, I have never heard of a folding guitar before.
Are they really viable instruments for a decent player or just something you buy to impress your mates ( once )?.

Like Zurf, I would probably not buy one.