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#1 2011-01-13 20:10:26

selso
Senior Member
From: Amarillo, TX
Registered: 2007-07-18
Posts: 970
Website

Untitled

If you read all this, thank you. Kinda long and depressing.

I didnt want you
So you ran away
And now that your leaving
I want you to stay

I'm sorry I lied
Please let me in
My promise to you
is it wont happen again

Your all that I needed
Wont hurt you no more
Wont call you a bitch
Wont call you a whore

You've heard it before
But I'll get it this time
And walk with a reason
A rhythm, a rhyme.

I didnt want you
So you ran and hid
And now I am left
with all that I did.

Takes to much time
to get it all back
Wish that you'd give me
Just one more chance

As a person I've grown
As a lover I have not
I dont expect you
to give it a shot

I write theses lame words
Thinking of you
Lie to myself
How I have grew

It all seems the same
But seems strangely different
Now Im alone
Not out to win it.

We tried to play house
Without building a home
I know it's my fault
It's my burden alone

Cant help but be bitter
for all that came next
Get over myself
and repay this debt

That I owe to you
To get it all right
But all thats inside me
just wants to fight.


Everything is bad including me
But being bad is good policy
Reverend Horton Heat

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#2 2011-01-13 20:36:46

badeye
Honoured Member
From: Cape Breton Island, Canada
Registered: 2006-09-02
Posts: 2873

Re: Untitled

I like your poem, honesty from within.   



   "There was a light at the end of the tunnel, but it turned out to be a train"
       John Cambelljohn.


write more...    badeye   cool

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp3nee78adk

Last edited by badeye (2011-01-13 20:38:11)


one caper after another

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#3 2011-01-13 21:03:07

selso
Senior Member
From: Amarillo, TX
Registered: 2007-07-18
Posts: 970
Website

Re: Untitled

man i wish I could play slide like that! Thanks for that badeye.


Everything is bad including me
But being bad is good policy
Reverend Horton Heat

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#4 2011-01-13 22:33:14

badeye
Honoured Member
From: Cape Breton Island, Canada
Registered: 2006-09-02
Posts: 2873

Re: Untitled

Me too Selso. He is a local from our island, here a nova scotian that i like to try {try} to copy.


it's a lot of fun..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTHNH-sluEI



badeye    cool


one caper after another

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#5 2011-01-13 23:02:40

badeye
Honoured Member
From: Cape Breton Island, Canada
Registered: 2006-09-02
Posts: 2873

Re: Untitled

i may have hijacked your thread, sorry bout that, but i remember you asked about slide or lap playing. its a neat way to learn, the guitar. your poem/song could be played slide style for sure.



badeye,,,,take care     cool

Last edited by badeye (2011-01-13 23:04:18)


one caper after another

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#6 2011-01-13 23:35:05

selso
Senior Member
From: Amarillo, TX
Registered: 2007-07-18
Posts: 970
Website

Re: Untitled

hey im just glad someone commented! hijack away when it comes to slide.


Everything is bad including me
But being bad is good policy
Reverend Horton Heat

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#7 2011-01-29 20:26:10

Phill Williams
THE MODERATE MODERATOR
From: The Land Of Song
Registered: 2007-12-10
Posts: 2440
Website

Re: Untitled

i get the impression that this would make a great country song.

it's not really long, if you put two lines into one and doubled up the verses it would only be half as long on the page.

if this is a true story, stop kicking your self and learn the lesson for next time.

nice write, i'll say it again, make a good song

phill


There are two "L's" in Phill

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#8 2011-09-02 06:09:46

Flybye
Member
Registered: 2007-05-24
Posts: 45

Re: Untitled

I liked your poem. It had a good rythm and ryhme and message.

Nice Job
Flybye

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#9 2011-09-08 20:50:04

T-Rex
Senior Member
Registered: 2009-09-16
Posts: 158

Re: Untitled

Hi Selso, nice poem, sad story, the makings of a touching song.
best line:
"We tried to play house
Without building a home"
good stuff...keep writing! -T

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#10 2011-09-09 07:03:29

steelstrings
Senior Member
From: Western Australia (born in NZ)
Registered: 2011-04-18
Posts: 322

Re: Untitled

Man, that is one bootiful poem.


"Where you begin doesn't matter. Your willingness to start is what counts."
Without music life would be a mistake.
Country music is three chords and the truth.
cool cool cool cool cool cool

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