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  •  » Please review poem "The Color"

#1 2012-09-12 17:43:52

jeffob
Junior Member
Registered: 2007-03-31
Posts: 3

Please review poem "The Color"

ONE DAY I WAS WALKING ON THE STREET THAT WAS MINE

I SAW A COLOR LIKE PURPLE AND WINE

IT GREW AND TILTED AND INCIRCLED MY FACE 

I KNEW IT HAD BECOME MY TIME TO BE CHANGED   



I FELT ALL MY SENSES BEING STRECHED TO THE END

I WONDERED FOR A MOMENT THEN I FELT IN BEGIN

THE COLOR WAS TOMORROW BEFORE IT WAS LIVED

IT TOLD ME TO REMEMBER TO LOVE AND FORGIVE



AS I STOOD THERE EMPTY CONFUSED AND ALONE

I SMILED FOR THE COLOR FOUND SOME FRIENDS AND WAS GONE

THEY FILLED UP THE SKY LIKE VAN GOHH’S MIND

IT WAS PURE BEAUTY   THE BIBLICAL KIND



I THEN TURNED MY GAZE TO THE WORLD AROUND ME

I SAW A PUPPY AND BOY PLAYING BESIDE ME

THE SUN SEEMED GOLDEN LIKE THE HAIR OF A CHILD 

FEAR SEEMED TO DROP FROM THE SKY AND DIE



SO TAKE THE COLOR IN YOUR LIFE AND FEEL IT

MAKE YOUR HEART HOLD IT CLOSE AND SEAL IT

THEN TURN IT LOOSE TO PAINT YOUR LIFE

YOUR CHILDREN WILL GROW IN YOUR BEAUTIFUL LIGHT



FOR YOU ARE AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN       



THE COLOR

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#2 2012-09-12 18:43:35

Russell_Harding
Alien moderator
From: A black hole in deep space
Registered: 2007-10-29
Posts: 6416
Website

Re: Please review poem "The Color"

I did not read this but I did notice all the captial letters and you posted this twice in the same forum you should remove one of them.


"Growing old is not for sissies"

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#3 2012-09-12 22:20:16

SouthPaw41L
Honoured Member
Registered: 2006-03-04
Posts: 2645

Re: Please review poem "The Color"

Welcome to Chordie jeffob ! Nice poem. (psst; it's Van Gogh) Keep up the creating, have a great day !


The modern world is the child of doubt and inquiry, as the ancient world was the child of fear and faith.

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