Hello, Tel ...
I've also been playing a while (about 45 yrs) and am primarily an acoustic player also. What you describe is my same experience, so I suppose it's some consolation to find someone else having the same aggravation. When I pick up the electric, I find myself doing exactly as you describe. I've checked the intonation with a tuner, and everything's fine on my four guitars.
I think it's because acoustic strings are typically heavier than electrics, so we've simply become accustomed to using a firmer grip. For example, a set of "light" acoustic strings typically ranges from .012 >>> .053, whereas a "light" electric set would go .010 >>> .046. Acoustics generally have a bit higher action also, so we habitually squeeze harder for a bit more sustain ... could be another contributing factor. Perhaps in a few more years, the the onset of age-related arthritis will intervene, and our troubles will be solved (hahaha).
Last edited by Tenement Funster (2013-01-25 15:17:43)