Topic: My Fate (about wife beating)

My wife's ex was a wife beater and she got punished regularly. Our 2 oldest kids (my step sons) saw all that happened and idolise me as I (in their words) treat her and them so well. this is about him in part and some from stories I've heard and some just fiction, but it's a subject I feel strongly about.

My Fate.         Phill Williams.

She takes off my shoes, massages my feet.
She runs my hot bath, prepares my late meal.
She lays out my clothes, all clean and well pressed.
I'm off to the pub. "I might be quite late".

She asks “can I come?” I say “yeah, to drop me off.
I'll give you a ring when I'm right to come home.”
She's there right on time `cos she knows if she's late.
There'll be trouble again if she makes me wait.

Suspicions maybe; bruises she hides.
She's ashamed of the fact that her husband's a swine.
I'm good with my hands on her arms and her legs.
Her back and her ribs but never her face.

Why do I do it? Yes I've asked it myself.
This wonderful woman I've put her through hell.
But she takes all the beatings, the verbal abuse.
And I blame it on her.
She deserves more than this.

She's an old fashioned woman, it's how she grew up.
Her mother got beaten, her father was tough.
And I saw the same Friday night after pay.
When the old man came home drunk with fists flying free.

Haven't I learned after all that I've seen?
My mother died young with a clot in her brain.
They locked up my father, it happened too late.
Why can't I stop the cycle? Or will this be my fate?

There are two "L's" in Phill

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Stong stuff Phill well written ,my wife used to work for the domestic violence unit of Greater Manchester police as a criminologist analyzing the cases.Your poem paints a vivid picture well done for tackling this subject.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Very hard to read, Phill ... brought tears to my eyes.

As you've stated, abuse of this kind is generally a learned and then repeated behaviour. I count myself very fortunate indeed that my wonderful Dad never raised a hand to Mom, taught my brother and I to follow his example, which I've in turn taught to my boys. I grew up hearing, "Men don't hit women ... period." and am glad to have learned it.

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Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

hi TF, ditto. my old man liked a drink or two on occasion, but never raised a hand to my mam with that same litany; men don't hit women ringing in my ears.

so when i separated from the witch (my ex) i met several young ladies that had been through the violence and to be honest i just couldn't believe their stories, same as my wifes.

when my oldest son told his story of seeing his birth father (as he calls him, amongst other things) hammering his mother it made a great impression on me which is probably why this came about.

hi grah, i cant imagine how much seeing things like that affected your wife. i get the feeling that sometimes third parties feel the pain more and the effects longer.

There are two "L's" in Phill

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill

Sorry for your wives ex - he should be incarcerated - as anyone who abuses their spouse.

This site provides amazingly sad statistics.

As a teacher of 37 years, I could tell endless stories that students have confided in me about what was going on in there house. Many a night I have had a knock on my door wit a student seeking refuge.
In 98% of these cases I have personal knowledge of - always drugs or alcohol involved.

Very stirring poem Phill, good to get discussion going.
The facts on this site will blow your mind though !

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/2 … 59776.html

Thanks for sharing your life and your talent as a writer.

Jim

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

hey jim nice to hear from you. they cant jail this AH as he did the decent thing and killed himself in a car accident, unfortunately his new girlfriend was also in the car with a broken arm he gave her...she died with him. sad for her.

There are two "L's" in Phill

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill Williams wrote:

hey jim nice to hear from you. they cant jail this AH as he did the decent thing and killed himself in a car accident, unfortunately his new girlfriend was also in the car with a broken arm he gave her...she died with him. sad for her.

Oh my ... what a nightmare; so very, very tragic for the lady who was the victim.

ACOUSTICS:  Cordoba D10-CE / LaPatrie "Concert" / Takamine GD30CE-12 / Norman ST30
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Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

very powerful.

Mal - Well, lady, I must say, you're my kinda stupid.
Mal - Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that
Kaylee - No power in the verse can stop me. BOOK-  you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Tenement Funster wrote:
Phill Williams wrote:

hey jim nice to hear from you. they cant jail this AH as he did the decent thing and killed himself in a car accident, unfortunately his new girlfriend was also in the car with a broken arm he gave her...she died with him. sad for her.

Oh my ... what a nightmare; so very, very tragic for the lady who was the victim.

yes it was very tragic for her and her family. i have to say though, i breathed a sigh of relief when i heard, an all round bad man, favourite trick....glassing people in the pub

There are two "L's" in Phill

10 (edited by Peatle Jville 2017-09-26 11:15:20)

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

PhillJust read this poem for the first time and it tells it well..  A few days back  a young man told me about how his girlfriend had a previous relationship with a bloke who behind doors  was violent to her... . He showed me a private  poem about her bad time. One of the scars  she still has is not been able to share  her experience with all of the world. She had given him permision to show me the poem.. The words from that poem made me feel angry that these people are out there .  I still remember this small part of the poem talking  about  after a beating from him .
Covering his tracks.
Before resuming work as a man.
No survellance no remorse.
When I read this part of your poem below it made me  think of the words above.
Suspicions maybe; bruises she hides.
She's ashamed of the fact that her husband's a swine.
I'm good with my hands on her arms and her legs.
Her back and her ribs but never her face

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Thanks Peatle, I was a little surprised when I saw this brought back to life, I guess it's not just the spammers that dig into the Chordie vault? I read through all the posts again and I was surprised at the support and feeling displayed by our "gang". LONG LIVE THE CHORDIANS

There are two "L's" in Phill

12 (edited by Peatle Jville 2017-10-01 08:38:20)

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill this subject is close to my heart as Maree and I when we were working with the Salvation Army we became very  aware of a big problem here in NZ of domestic violence
Not only the violence but also the constant  verbal abuse they had to endure. It can be  hard to convince  beaten women that they had to escape relationships  not only for themselves but also their children. With  a big input from  Jandle we  put together these lyrics below   about that subject, which we both later on  turned into songs.                       
https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan/move-onmp3
Move On
Whatever happened to
that beautiful lady
I use to know
what's happened to you
for your self esteem
I think that it's time
for you to move on
he is all wrong
He's been abusing you
It's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
You got to regain
yourself and forget
for it's to his shame
don't you take the blame
you're far to good
to put up with that
he's a snake in the grass
get out real fast
it's time to move on he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong
He's been abusing you
it's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
And when you move on
you'll become real strong
and reclaim your life
you'll become what you like
he has no rights
you have your own life
It's time to move on
he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Peatle Jville wrote:

Phill this subject is close to my heart as Maree and I when we were working with the Salvation Army we became very  aware of a big problem here in NZ of domestic violence
Not only the violence but also the constant  verbal abuse they had to endure. It can be  hard to convince  beaten women that they had to escape relationships  not only for themselves but also their children. With  a big input from  Jandle we  put together these lyrics below   about that subject, which we both later on  turned into songs.                       
https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan/move-onmp3
Move On
Whatever happened to
that beautiful lady
I use to know
what's happened to you
for your self esteem
I think that it's time
for you to move on
he is all wrong
He's been abusing you
It's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
You got to regain
yourself and forget
for it's to his shame
don't you take the blame
you're far to good
to put up with that
he's a snake in the grass
get out real fast
it's time to move on he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong
He's been abusing you
it's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
And when you move on
you'll become real strong
and reclaim your life
you'll become what you like
he has no rights
you have your own life
It's time to move on
he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong

Nice song! i hope also that it will make hope in women who have been through any type of abuse.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Thank you clippath. At the time when Jandal put that up on soundcloud I got some very good feed back from people. It was wonderful how Jandal made the song work.
I was pleased to read Phills excellent poem on this same subject that tackles a problem for many woman around the world.