Topic: "The Ballad of My Tooth and Mr Ballsover"
Another true story from my past, from about 35 years ago. My fear of dentists is legendary and this was the first and only visit to this guy whose name has been changed as I do not want to prosecuted for libel.
This is a very serious song about a very serious subject and I hope you will all treat it the way it deserves 
Recorded as usual: http://www.myspace.com/rogerguppy (This link no longer works as the song has been deleted from MySpace - see latest posting for update) **Edited 24-09-2012**
Roger
The Ballad of My Tooth and Mr Ballsoverby Roger Guppy
Intro:
[D][G][D][A][D][A]
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Verse 1:
One [D]day I woke with [G]tooth ache real bad,
And I [D]suffered for day after [A]day,[A7]
'Cause [D]I am afraid of [G]dentists you see,
And do my [D]best to keep [A]out of their [D]way.[A]
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Verse 2:
[D]After several days of [G]pure agony,
And [D]several long nights with no [A]sleep,[A7]
I [D]just had to go to [G]see a dentist,
A Mr [D]Ballsover was [A]further down my [D]street.[A]
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Verse 3:
[D]With knees knocking I walked [G]in the surgery,
Had to [D]wait so sat to read a maga[A]zine,[A7]
[D]But my stomach was churning on [G]overtime,
So I [D]had to keep [A]going to the la[D]trine.[A]
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Verse 4:
[D]I was sent in to [G]see the man,
And was [D]put in his large torture [A]seat,[A7]
I [D]sat right back with my [G]jaws wide apart,
And my [D]head was far [A]lower than my [D]feet.[D7]
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Chorus 1:
He [G]had a good look and [D]said "This looks bad",
As he [G]tapped the offending [D]tooth,
Well [G]I just screamed and [D]jumped so high,
That I [G]had to climb [A]down from the [D]roof.[A]
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Verse 5:
"It is [D]just as I thought" [G]he then said,
"Let's do it [D]now and not mess a[A]bout,[A7]
It [D]cannot be saved, it has [G]gone too far,
We will [D]just have to [A]whip it right [D]out".[A]
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Verse 6:
With a [D]tremble in my voice I said [G]"OK, put me out,
Please [D]give me the jab in the [A]arm,[A7]
I have [D]never had a tooth removed while still [G]wide awake,
The [D]thought fills me with [A]dread and a[D]larm".[A]
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Verse 7:
[D]"Don't be a sissy, nurse [G]get the cocaine",
Mr [D]Ballsover said over my pro[A]test,[A7]
"I will [D]not have it done with just a [G]jab in the mouth,
That is [D]it - there [A]is no con[D]test".[A]
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Verse 8:
"I [D]won't hurt you, now [G]just act your age,
Your are [D]behaving far worse than a [A]child",[A7]
The [D]more he said the more that I [G]shook,
Even [D]though his [A]manner was quite [D]mild.[D7]
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Chorus 2:
"Nurse [G]get the cocaine" my [D]how that phrase sticks,
For the [G]third time uttered this [D]man,
Well [G]that was it, I'd had [D]now had enough,
So I [G]got out of his [A]chair and I just [D]ran. [G] [D]
"Do, or do not; there is no try"
