• From: Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Registered: 2013-01-20
  • Posts: 4,083

Topic: DAYLIGHT

DAYLIGHT

Twitch in discomfort … roll over again
Bash the pillow, tug the blankets,
Been another long night
Here a fight, there a fright
The window starts glowing
At last … there's daylight.

Tough circumstance … a victim again,
Wrack my brain, chew my nails,
Been a bad patch lately
Here a fear, there a tear
The solution starts showing
At last … there's daylight.

The forest beckons … outside again
Smell the air, hear the voices
Been too long away
Here a bird, there a squirrel
Their joy over-flowing
At last … there's daylight.

  • From: Nova Scotia, Canada
  • Registered: 2013-01-20
  • Posts: 4,083

Re: DAYLIGHT

Awesome work, Luther! My poetry always tends to be a bit too obvious / literal. I really like your concise sense of expression.

  • From: NY
  • Registered: 2009-08-26
  • Posts: 4,320

Re: DAYLIGHT

Tenement Funster wrote:

Awesome work, Luther! My poetry always tends to be a bit too obvious / literal. I really like your concise sense of expression.

smile  Looks like his post was moved out to it's own thread here: http://www.chordie.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=29388

That said - I like the obvious and literal poems at times.  Yours captures those restless nights, which generally end up with back pain for me!  smile  Happy to see the morning and DO something!  smile  There's been too many of those lately, so glad to finally see some nicer temperatures!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

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  • From: Nottingham England
  • Registered: 2014-01-13
  • Posts: 621

Re: DAYLIGHT

Some very clever stuff going down here, way above my league. I'm still working on. The fat cat sat on the mat

Thick as two short planks
  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,649

Re: DAYLIGHT

Hi peeps,

yeh just moved Luthers post to it's own thread, thanks Amy for the tutorial cool

TF, everything is beautiful in it's own way, so the song goes, and you too keepitreal, just to say you're not born a poet, Shakespeare wasn't, Wordsworth wasn't , Dylan Thomas wasn't. they worked at it because they had the muse within them. One day we may all get there.  Your poem TF is a reflection of the modern world in which we live and stands as relevant as anything one of the above wrote. I've spent many a night as you describe...minus the forest bit. well done, thanks for sharing.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

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  • Grah1
  • Honoured Member
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  • From: Cold and rainy Settle UK
  • Registered: 2011-05-12
  • Posts: 1,587

Re: DAYLIGHT

Nice  bit  of  verse  there  TF

Grah1's Website

  • TIGLJK
  • Honoured Member
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  • Registered: 2010-05-11
  • Posts: 3,169

Re: DAYLIGHT

pretty much describes every night I try to sleep after the team I coached lost.
Funny how when there is a win... i sleep like  dog without a worry.

I might add.... my wife generally lets me know when it's time to head for the coach on such nights smile

Thanks TF    Fantastic look at life in a poem !

Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but what your mind can imagine.
Make your life count, and the world will be a better place because you tried.

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke
  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,649

Re: DAYLIGHT

I might add.... my wife generally lets me know when it's time to head for the couch on such nights smile

lol sounds sooooo familiar

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

  • Jandle
  • Jandle
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  • Registered: 2015-07-15
  • Posts: 1,905

Re: DAYLIGHT

TF, i like it ...... defiantely explains those sleepless nights and i am with keepitreal on this..........i am still at the fat cat on the mat stage .......... so well done to you  smile

Laugh Lots ... Forgive Much ...  Love one another     smile
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