1 (edited by TIGLJK 2017-10-17 00:39:39)

Topic: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Well... I had this line in my head for weeks now and finally sat down early this morning and worked on it.

I'm not too sure it's in it's finished version yet, but I thought I'd through it out there for my Chordie friends to review.
Let me know what you think.  Thanks for giving it a look over.

Jim

[song]

{t: Where Dreams And Reality Collide}

[Am]With the stars sparkling in her [F]eyes,
And her [C]laughter like hues of an evening[G] sky
[Am] the wind gently blowing through her[F] hair
[C]and her sweet breath  in the midnight [G]air

[Am]She used to be only in my [F]dreams
A free[C] spirit ,chasing cryptic [G]schemes
[Am]beautifully awkward, out of [F]place
she was [C]gorgeous chaos,  full of[G] grace



Chorus
but now she's [C]   right here in front of me
Oh, I'd[Em] love to reach out and hold her hand
But I [Am]don't know if I can take that chance 
see I [F]don't want to get [C]hurt  a[G]gain

[C] she's everything  I ever wanted
Oh my [Em]heart  feels  it deep inside
Maybe [Am] one day I'll find the place
where [F] dreams and re[G]ality col[C]lide



[Am]It's so hard to move on with my  [F]life
With a  [C]heart , riddled with sad good[G]byes
[Am]hoping  courage , will soon come  my [F]way
and let me [C]fall in love again ,  some[G]day

Ending Chorus
and now she's  [C]  right here in front of me
Oh, I'd[Em] love to reach out and hold her hand
But I [Am]don't know if I can take that chance 
see I [F]don't want to get [C]hurt  a[G]gain

[C]she's everything  I could ever want
My [Em]heart  feels  it deep inside
[Am]is  this is the day I'll find the place
where [F] dreams and re[G]ality col[C]lide


where [F] dreams and re[G]ality col[C]lide

where [F] dreams and re[G]ality col[C]lide

[song/]

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

nice bit of poetry there jim, reminiscent of the romantic poets.

you've asked for comments so i think i can help you out with a couple of lines.

in the 1st verse change smell to scent?
in the 2nd verse the 3rd line;
beautifully out of place she was?
change to; beautifully awkward out of place
gorgeous chaos full of grace.

i think it flows and rhymes better, but you know what is in your mind, only a suggestion my friend

phill

There are two "L's" in Phill

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Phill

Ironically I had just changed the one line from smell to sweet breath

and I struggled with the other line you caught.

Thanks my friend -  do you think the chords are ok 
It sounds ok to me when I play it - but then again it is me playing so who the heck knows.  smile

Thanks Phill   your advice is always welcomed !!

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

TIG I love  this part of your song.                          Excellent lyrics.
She used to be only in my dreams
A free spirit ,chasing cryptic schemes
beautifully awkward, out of  place
gorgeous chaos,  full of  grace

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Thank you Peatle

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

This is the link to the song lyrics and chords on Chordie in the chopro format

I find it easier to play from there and you can change chords if you want  to.

http://www.chordie.com/chord.pere/?url= … ranspose=0

Thank you so much for your comments 
Jim

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

A line in the chorus. See I [F] don't want to get hurt a[G]gain. Somehow for me it jus flowed a little better if played. See I [F] don't want to get [C] hurt a[G]gain. But that's just me. Great song though

Thick as two short planks

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

K.I.R.

Thanks for the suggestion--- I tried it and I like it !!  Made the change.

Thanks for checking it out.  I always look for constructive feed back as my musical background is extremely limited.

Jim

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

hey Jim. had a play through and the chords seem fine. unfortunately I've come down with a rather nasty throat infection and have difficulty speaking so no-can-sing at this time so I cant help with the flow. it looks good and keepitreal has a good point

There are two "L's" in Phill

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Peatle Jville wrote:

TIG I love  this part of your song.                          Excellent lyrics.
She used to be only in my dreams
A free spirit ,chasing cryptic schemes
beautifully awkward, out of  place
gorgeous chaos,  full of  grace

I agree that is a top notch sounding verse!  it rolls nice and sounds like something I would write after some heavy drink.

Mal - Well, lady, I must say, you're my kinda stupid.
Mal - Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that
Kaylee - No power in the verse can stop me. BOOK-  you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

I posted a quick computer mic recording of my song on soundcloud. here is the link - with my sincere apologies to your ears  for the playing and vocals.

https://soundcloud.com/tigljk/where-dre … ty-collide

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

12 (edited by Peatle Jville 2017-10-21 03:43:34)

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

TIG you have this gift of delivering lyrics that express the various emotions people experience on the highways and byways of life. When you preform your songs the good thing is you put yourself into the shoes of whoever your singing about. The reason why I loved Johnny Cash was he gave the songs he sang  authenticity through his fire and passion. I think you have that fire and passion inside of you when you  write a song,  which then takes a person  inside  what is happening aswell as what is been felt.

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Thank you for your kind words Peatle

I only wish I had a decent singing voice  smile

JIm

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Tig as I said on Sound Cloud .......... you never cease to amaze me with your song writing skills!  You have an amazing gift!

Laugh Lots ... Forgive Much ...  Love one another     smile
Covers and some Originals found over there    ------- >    https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Thank You   Jan

I only wish I had a voice on equal station as yours to make my words sound good. smile

Thanks again for your kind words.

I hope your recovery has been moving along quickly and to a full extent.
Jim

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

I know its a very different song, but Jackyl has a album called "WHEN MOONSHINE AND DYNAMITE COLLIDE" LOL.  its good old red neck Jessie James Dupree rock and roll! and your title reminds me of it.

Mal - Well, lady, I must say, you're my kinda stupid.
Mal - Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that
Kaylee - No power in the verse can stop me. BOOK-  you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Sounds like a classic
I will check it out when I get a chance this evening

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

18 (edited by Tenement Funster 2017-10-28 09:32:00)

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Nice work, TIG, once again. Writing always involves this fine-tuning process, where the writer is never quite satisfied with every word in every line. Your overall expressions are excellent, and I agree with Beamer about that terrific verse which he highlighted.
(*Insert my applause here*)

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Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

Beamer
That's a pretty wild song !   Reminds me a bit of Axel Rose

TF

Thanks

and yup. I keep coming back to it and tweeking it...  I love getting feed back from the true musicians on Chordie   - it is so helpful.
I do really like this song .... one the faves that I've written.
Thanks for your comments guys !

One last comment ---- anybody heard from Strummerboy Bill ? I knew he was experiencing some troubles and moving to a new apt. I haven't seen any recent post by him. 
I truly hope all is improving for him and his beloved Dondra.

Jim

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

OMG he just lumped me (and the rest of us non pro guys)  into a "TRUE MUSICIAN" category! I think Ill faint now LOLOLOLOL

Mal - Well, lady, I must say, you're my kinda stupid.
Mal - Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that
Kaylee - No power in the verse can stop me. BOOK-  you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.

Re: Where Dreams and Reality Collide

I agree with the others got some good lines in this one. haven't had a chance to play it will have a go at it after work today.

out of tune out of key and out of touch