Topic: My Fate (about wife beating)

My wife's ex was a wife beater and she got punished regularly. Our 2 oldest kids (my step sons) saw all that happened and idolise me as I (in their words) treat her and them so well. this is about him in part and some from stories I've heard and some just fiction, but it's a subject I feel strongly about.

My Fate.         Phill Williams.

She takes off my shoes, massages my feet.
She runs my hot bath, prepares my late meal.
She lays out my clothes, all clean and well pressed.
I'm off to the pub. "I might be quite late".

She asks “can I come?” I say “yeah, to drop me off.
I'll give you a ring when I'm right to come home.”
She's there right on time `cos she knows if she's late.
There'll be trouble again if she makes me wait.

Suspicions maybe; bruises she hides.
She's ashamed of the fact that her husband's a swine.
I'm good with my hands on her arms and her legs.
Her back and her ribs but never her face.

Why do I do it? Yes I've asked it myself.
This wonderful woman I've put her through hell.
But she takes all the beatings, the verbal abuse.
And I blame it on her.
She deserves more than this.

She's an old fashioned woman, it's how she grew up.
Her mother got beaten, her father was tough.
And I saw the same Friday night after pay.
When the old man came home drunk with fists flying free.

Haven't I learned after all that I've seen?
My mother died young with a clot in her brain.
They locked up my father, it happened too late.
Why can't I stop the cycle? Or will this be my fate?

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Stong stuff Phill well written ,my wife used to work for the domestic violence unit of Greater Manchester police as a criminologist analyzing the cases.Your poem paints a vivid picture well done for tackling this subject.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Very hard to read, Phill ... brought tears to my eyes.

As you've stated, abuse of this kind is generally a learned and then repeated behaviour. I count myself very fortunate indeed that my wonderful Dad never raised a hand to Mom, taught my brother and I to follow his example, which I've in turn taught to my boys. I grew up hearing, "Men don't hit women ... period." and am glad to have learned it.

ACOUSTICS:  Cordoba D10-CE / LaPatrie "Concert" / Takamine GD30CE-12 / Norman ST30
ELECTRICS:  EP Les Paul Custom Pro / Gretsch Streamliner G2420T / Cort GB34 Bass
AMPS:  Traynor YCS50 / Peavey VK212 / Traynor AM150T / Fender Rumble 150
EFFECTS: Boss ME-80 Multi-effects / Ibanez WD7 wah

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

hi TF, ditto. my old man liked a drink or two on occasion, but never raised a hand to my mam with that same litany; men don't hit women ringing in my ears.

so when i separated from the witch (my ex) i met several young ladies that had been through the violence and to be honest i just couldn't believe their stories, same as my wifes.

when my oldest son told his story of seeing his birth father (as he calls him, amongst other things) hammering his mother it made a great impression on me which is probably why this came about.

hi grah, i cant imagine how much seeing things like that affected your wife. i get the feeling that sometimes third parties feel the pain more and the effects longer.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill

Sorry for your wives ex - he should be incarcerated - as anyone who abuses their spouse.

This site provides amazingly sad statistics.

As a teacher of 37 years, I could tell endless stories that students have confided in me about what was going on in there house. Many a night I have had a knock on my door wit a student seeking refuge.
In 98% of these cases I have personal knowledge of - always drugs or alcohol involved.

Very stirring poem Phill, good to get discussion going.
The facts on this site will blow your mind though !

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/2 … 59776.html

Thanks for sharing your life and your talent as a writer.

Jim

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

hey jim nice to hear from you. they cant jail this AH as he did the decent thing and killed himself in a car accident, unfortunately his new girlfriend was also in the car with a broken arm he gave her...she died with him. sad for her.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill Williams wrote:

hey jim nice to hear from you. they cant jail this AH as he did the decent thing and killed himself in a car accident, unfortunately his new girlfriend was also in the car with a broken arm he gave her...she died with him. sad for her.

Oh my ... what a nightmare; so very, very tragic for the lady who was the victim.

ACOUSTICS:  Cordoba D10-CE / LaPatrie "Concert" / Takamine GD30CE-12 / Norman ST30
ELECTRICS:  EP Les Paul Custom Pro / Gretsch Streamliner G2420T / Cort GB34 Bass
AMPS:  Traynor YCS50 / Peavey VK212 / Traynor AM150T / Fender Rumble 150
EFFECTS: Boss ME-80 Multi-effects / Ibanez WD7 wah

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

very powerful.

Mal - Well, lady, I must say, you're my kinda stupid.
Mal - Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that
Kaylee - No power in the verse can stop me. BOOK-  you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Tenement Funster wrote:
Phill Williams wrote:

hey jim nice to hear from you. they cant jail this AH as he did the decent thing and killed himself in a car accident, unfortunately his new girlfriend was also in the car with a broken arm he gave her...she died with him. sad for her.

Oh my ... what a nightmare; so very, very tragic for the lady who was the victim.

yes it was very tragic for her and her family. i have to say though, i breathed a sigh of relief when i heard, an all round bad man, favourite trick....glassing people in the pub

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

10 (edited by Peatle Jville 2017-09-26 11:15:20)

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

PhillJust read this poem for the first time and it tells it well..  A few days back  a young man told me about how his girlfriend had a previous relationship with a bloke who behind doors  was violent to her... . He showed me a private  poem about her bad time. One of the scars  she still has is not been able to share  her experience with all of the world. She had given him permision to show me the poem.. The words from that poem made me feel angry that these people are out there .  I still remember this small part of the poem talking  about  after a beating from him .
Covering his tracks.
Before resuming work as a man.
No survellance no remorse.
When I read this part of your poem below it made me  think of the words above.
Suspicions maybe; bruises she hides.
She's ashamed of the fact that her husband's a swine.
I'm good with my hands on her arms and her legs.
Her back and her ribs but never her face

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Thanks Peatle, I was a little surprised when I saw this brought back to life, I guess it's not just the spammers that dig into the Chordie vault? I read through all the posts again and I was surprised at the support and feeling displayed by our "gang". LONG LIVE THE CHORDIANS

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

12 (edited by Peatle Jville 2017-10-01 08:38:20)

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill this subject is close to my heart as Maree and I when we were working with the Salvation Army we became very  aware of a big problem here in NZ of domestic violence
Not only the violence but also the constant  verbal abuse they had to endure. It can be  hard to convince  beaten women that they had to escape relationships  not only for themselves but also their children. With  a big input from  Jandle we  put together these lyrics below   about that subject, which we both later on  turned into songs.                       
https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan/move-onmp3
Move On
Whatever happened to
that beautiful lady
I use to know
what's happened to you
for your self esteem
I think that it's time
for you to move on
he is all wrong
He's been abusing you
It's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
You got to regain
yourself and forget
for it's to his shame
don't you take the blame
you're far to good
to put up with that
he's a snake in the grass
get out real fast
it's time to move on he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong
He's been abusing you
it's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
And when you move on
you'll become real strong
and reclaim your life
you'll become what you like
he has no rights
you have your own life
It's time to move on
he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Peatle Jville wrote:

Phill this subject is close to my heart as Maree and I when we were working with the Salvation Army we became very  aware of a big problem here in NZ of domestic violence
Not only the violence but also the constant  verbal abuse they had to endure. It can be  hard to convince  beaten women that they had to escape relationships  not only for themselves but also their children. With  a big input from  Jandle we  put together these lyrics below   about that subject, which we both later on  turned into songs.                       
https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan/move-onmp3
Move On
Whatever happened to
that beautiful lady
I use to know
what's happened to you
for your self esteem
I think that it's time
for you to move on
he is all wrong
He's been abusing you
It's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
You got to regain
yourself and forget
for it's to his shame
don't you take the blame
you're far to good
to put up with that
he's a snake in the grass
get out real fast
it's time to move on he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong
He's been abusing you
it's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
And when you move on
you'll become real strong
and reclaim your life
you'll become what you like
he has no rights
you have your own life
It's time to move on
he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong

Nice song! i hope also that it will make hope in women who have been through any type of abuse.

CLipping path house provides all kind of image editing services like image retouching, image masking, raster to vector and all kind of clipping path service.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Thank you clippath. At the time when Jandal put that up on soundcloud I got some very good feed back from people. It was wonderful how Jandal made the song work.
I was pleased to read Phills excellent poem on this same subject that tackles a problem for many woman around the world.

15 (edited by ctech 2017-12-23 10:12:33)

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Well written phill,brought back memories of a lady I had a relationship with. The things she told me I could never repeat the man was so vile. They had children together which made things a bit tense. Me being an idiot I tried to calm things down respectfully. Which only made things worse, maybe he saw it as weakness. Anyways he found that to be untrue when he kick our front door open, he was met me putting him in a hold and throwing him straight out the door,after that he never caused trouble and her son saw me as a bit of a hero. Deep down I wanted to smash his face into the concrete but that is not what I wanted to show her children. They are all grow up and although me and their mother are no longer together we are still close. Their mum was deeply scared by him very sad.

Hard times create strong men,Strong men create good times,Good times create weak men,Weak men create hard times.Cantwere rice INVICTA!

16 (edited by Classical Guitar 2017-12-23 15:08:50)

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

I think most of us have known someone who has been abused. One of the nicest people I know seems to pick the same type of person in three marriages. S he has been single for a long time now and is  happy.  She now helps others that need someone to talk with about their problems.

Good words in what you wrote.

Music is what feelings sound like.
Music is life, that why our hearts have beats.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

good for you ctech, a mans true strength is when he can keep his hands in his pockets when all he wants to do is put them down someones throat and pull out their heart (if they have one?)

thanks CG, unfortunately so true. are these men cowards that they cant take out their hostility on someone that can fight back?

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill I have read lots of poetry in my life. My Fate would have to be one of those poems that stand out above the rest. Here in beautiful New Zealand we have major problems with domestic violence and abuse in it's many forms. Your poem is  not only written beautifully it has opened up a healthy discusion many need to have.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill

I don't know how you'll take what I'm about to say, but I think your poem is so good it needs to be on a domestic violence  support site. The reason I was hesitant to write my suggestion was because it's personal and Ann be reluctant to post it, because of the memories the poem represents for her. But anyway, my Congratulations on another great composition.

Bill

My Dementia Blog: [url]http://www.wheretobud.blogspot.com]www.wheretobud.blogspot.com[/url]  also Dementia Interview  [url]http://www.engadget.com/2011/07/14/15-minutes-of-fame-holding-fast-to-azeroth-through-the-journey/[/url]
Epiphone Les Paul Studio
Fender GDO300 Orchestral - a gift from Amy & Jim
Pearl Drums With Paiste Cymbals

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Pete

This great my friend, and like Phill's very personal.  Would you consider giving some domestic violence support site publishing rights free of charge, or does this work now belong to Chordie? Same question to you, Phill.

Thanks to both of you!

Bill




Peatle Jville wrote:

Phill this subject is close to my heart as Maree and I when we were working with the Salvation Army we became very  aware of a big problem here in NZ of domestic violence
Not only the violence but also the constant  verbal abuse they had to endure. It can be  hard to convince  beaten women that they had to escape relationships  not only for themselves but also their children. With  a big input from  Jandle we  put together these lyrics below   about that subject, which we both later on  turned into songs.                       
https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan/move-onmp3
Move On
Whatever happened to
that beautiful lady
I use to know
what's happened to you
for your self esteem
I think that it's time
for you to move on
he is all wrong
He's been abusing you
It's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
You got to regain
yourself and forget
for it's to his shame
don't you take the blame
you're far to good
to put up with that
he's a snake in the grass
get out real fast
it's time to move on he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong
He's been abusing you
it's time to move on
he's all wrong for you
it's time to move on
And when you move on
you'll become real strong
and reclaim your life
you'll become what you like
he has no rights
you have your own life
It's time to move on
he is all wrong
it's time to move on
he is so wrong

My Dementia Blog: [url]http://www.wheretobud.blogspot.com]www.wheretobud.blogspot.com[/url]  also Dementia Interview  [url]http://www.engadget.com/2011/07/14/15-minutes-of-fame-holding-fast-to-azeroth-through-the-journey/[/url]
Epiphone Les Paul Studio
Fender GDO300 Orchestral - a gift from Amy & Jim
Pearl Drums With Paiste Cymbals

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Speaking for myself, if it would help anyone, I would be happy to allow it to be published. Ann is now quite open about her experience, which is why I know so much about it. I just hope no-one thought I was writing about myself, I didn't even smack my kids when they were small. On a lighter note.... it's Christmas Eve...nadolig llawen.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

22 (edited by Classical Guitar 2017-12-24 13:08:22)

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Phill I agree and have read all of this before. I do not think any woman or wife should stay with any so called man if he ever laid finger on her. I say so called man because whether they are drunk or sober once it starts if never ends. I sat at trial not that long ago and this guy sent his wife to the hospital and while she was on the mend , he went in and beat her for being there.  We sent him away for life without possibility of parole, and the state would provide counseling to his wife for as long as she needed it. I was the foreman and it took for four hours to  be sure  he never hurt her again and it also sent a message to anyone  else in a similar situation.

Music is what feelings sound like.
Music is life, that why our hearts have beats.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

I wish that were the case in the UK. Too many bleeding hearts and of course government funding cuts. I suppose if someone beat up Theresa May they'd be put against a wall and shot? It's a cruel world

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: My Fate (about wife beating)

Strummer Bill Wrote
Pete
This great my friend, and like Phill's very personal.  Would you consider giving some domestic violence support site publishing rights free of charge, or does this work now belong to Chordie? Same question to you, Phill.
Thanks to both of you!
Bill
Bill if domestic violence suport site  wants to publish Move On to help stop domestic violence I would be honoured they can use it free of charge. Jandle needs credit also as she wrote some of it. Christmas day here now  Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas  Pete