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Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday  Brad Paisley

Well, its a [E]Kung Pao Buckaroo H[A]oliday
Wh[B]atever you do watch what you [E]say
If youre e[A]asily offended well [B]thats oka[C#m]y
Its a co[A]mpletely non-offensive and
[B]politically correct holi[E]day
[E]We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.
[E]How bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.
Oh tr[E]ee oh tree [E]
how love[B]ly are thou br[E]anches
[E]Why am I getting bleeped again?
Havent you heard guys? You cant say
you gotta say Holiday
I cant say ?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by ?
You know you might offend the - and the -
and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.
Ill lead this off.
On the fi[E]rst day of my true love gave[B] to me [E]
[E]Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
You cant say .
Why not?
If you can say on the last record.
Why cant I say ?
I didnt make the rules.
Hey listen guys, its not that difficult,
all you gotta do is change to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white , you say
Im dreaming of a whi Holiday.
Why did I get bleeped?
Youve got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, Im dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that wont offend anybody.
Well, its a K[E]ung Pao Buckaroo H[A]oliday
[B]Whatever you do watch what you [E]say
If youre [A]easily offended well t[B]hats oka[C#m]y
Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?
Its a compl[A]etely non-offensive and
[B]politically correct h[E]oliday
[E]Im just trying to come up with a song here.
Lets sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
Im ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!
We three kings of are [E] [B7] [E]
[E]bearing gifts weve trave[B7]led real f[E]ar.
[E]Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.
Ive got to get hyped up for this.
[E]We three kings of Asia are.
[E]That sounds like horse
Oh lord, okay. How bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you cant say drummer cause
that will offend real musicians.
How bout little hahaha- town of Bethlehem.
Whats this with all the short jokes?
Hey how bout we do Silent Night?
No, itll offend people whos hard to hear
and afraid of the dark.
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?!!
This happens every year.
Well, its a K[E]ung Pao Buckaroo H[A]oliday
Wh[B]atever you do watch what you [E]say
If youre[A] easily offended well [B]thats ok[C#m]ay
Its a completely non-offensive and [A]
[B]politically correct [E]holiday
[E]Hohoho!
No.
I cant say ho?
No you might offend some women.
So basically we cant sing anything?
I think that a bunch of bull.
Softer George, its more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull.
Wait just a dang minute,
Ive - never been so - mad in 85 years.
You now what? I dont care who we offend,
Im gonna sing carols
if I wanna sing carols.
Louder Bill, its more effective.
I dont care who we offend,
Im gonna sing carols
if I wanna sing carols.
Me too.
[E]We wish you a merry ,[A]
[F#]we wish you a merry , [B]
we[G#] wish you a merry , [C#m]
and a [F#]happy ne[A]- year[E].
[E]We cant say new itll offend the old folks.
And you better not offend themus!

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