Self Esteem Garfunkel and Oates
[C]You text at th[F]ree in the morning[Dsus2]
And you miss[G]pell my name[C]
You've slept with [F]half my friends on Facebook[Dsus2]
And most of them[G] think you are [C]lame
You say that wi[F]th me it's different[Dsus2]
And you're not [G]that big of a [C]dick
And if you disap[F]pear it's cause you're busy[Dsus2]
Not cause you're [G]with some other [Am]chick
{Prechorus:
I know that [Em]this might be [Am]uncouth
But I've decided to [Em]tell you the [G]truth[(])[G] [)]
(Chorus:
[C]My self esteem's not [F]low enough to date you
[Dsus2] (It's/ close, but [G]not quite there
It's/
So)
[C] Give me time to get a [F]little more ( rejected/[Dsus2]
desperate/
wasted)
And you and I can [G]make an awesome [C]pair[F] [Dsus2]
A totally awesome pair)
[C]I seem like [F]your perfect target[Dsus2]
Like I've been [G]lonely for too [C]long
You think I haven't had [F]sex in forever[Dsus2]
And I'll ad[G]mit that you're not w[C]rong
But I would r[F]ather have no one[Dsus2]
Than this cr*p l[G]et me reaffirm[C]
I wouldn't touch your d[F]ick if I'd been poisoned[Dsus2]
And the antidote[G] was in your s[Am]perm
(Prechorus + Chorus)
Bridge:
[F]Thanks for not even pre[C]tending to respect me
Or [F]slightly acknowledging how [C]mean this is
Cause what's [F]easy to find is [(]a [C]loving [G]re[C]la[)]tionship
What's [G]hard for a girl like [G]me to find is [G] peni[G]ses
[(]Es[G]pe[)]cially when I'm on the road
O[(]r [G]an[)]ywhere, really
Caus[(]e [G]I'[)]m a girl, hello
That'[(]s [G]ki[)]nd of how it goes
[F]Love is illusive [C]and impossible
But [F]dicks are available [C]everywhere
So [F]sorry if I don't fee[(]l [C]su[G]per [C]lu[)]cky
To get a [G]penis likes yours at[G]tached to a man who [G]can't
even pretend to [G]care
[(] [G]Ma[)]ybe if something goes horribly awry
And I [(]th[G]in[)]k I'll never find a better guy
But fo[(]r [G]now[G] [)]
For [G]now[G]
(Chorus)
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