Old Age Killed My Teenage Bride Half Man Half Biscuit
(intro) E G E G E G D E G E G E G D
It was a [E]natural state of af[G]fairs; it was a [E]quiet ambition of [G]hers
She had a [E]room overlooking the [G]lawn; it was a [E]perfect August [D]morn
And with a [E]crossword clue in her [G]head, ?[E]Origin of Species? [G]read
[E]?King James? under the [G]bed.
[D]No broken bones, no gaping [C]wound about 10 [D]centimetres [E]wide
[C]No sword pro[D]truding from her [E]side,[C] it?s just like [D]Dr Forbes im[E]plied
[C]Old age [D]killed my teenage [E]bride.[G] [E] [G] [E] [G] [D]
She didn?t [E]care for adrenaline [G]sports, never l[E]earned any difficult [G]chords
Did she [E]ever have a scr*p with a [G]bear? If she [E]did, I wasn?t [D]there
And yester[E]day at a hundred and [G]one, she had a [E]shower, cup of tea and a [G]scone
And just as ?[E]Cash In The Attic? came [G]on.
[D]Such sweet delight upon her [C]face, no armed res[D]ponse team stood out[E]side
[C]No torso [D]washed upon the [E]tide,[C] it could not [D]be more cut and [E]dried
[C]Old age [D]killed my teenage [E]bride.[G] [E] [D] [E] [D] [E] [E] [G] [E] [G] [E] [G] [E] [G]
And when she [E]reached her centenary [G]year, they gathered [E]round her wanting to [G]hear
All the [E]tips on staying the [G]course; she said ?At [E]21 I got a di[G]vorce
And I [E]hold no particular [G]creed, I?ve never [E]coveted things I don?t [G]need
Under [E]ladders I walked without [G]fuss ?cos it [E]stopped me getting hit by a [D]bus?.
And she [C]turned to the [D]children at her [E]side
And said ?[C]Take the good and the [D]bad times in your [E]stride?
And[C] ?Abseil for [D]no-one?, then she [E]died
Seems[C] old age [D]killed my teenage [E]bride
[D]Teenage [E]bride, my [D]teenage [E]bride.