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First Baptist Bar and Grill  Tim Wilson

[Verse 1] 
[A]Well, the church burned down and no one knew
What the [D]Pentecost Baptists was gonna do
The [A]Sunday brimstone got so dadgum hot
It [E]burned up a church bus in the parkin' lot
In a [A]panic the reverend Dr. White
[D]Called up an ex-member than hadn't lived right
He [A]owned Joe's beer joint right across the fence
It's the [E]same Joe's he'd preached against
[Verse 2] 
He said I [A]don't really want to be a hypocrite
I got a [D]Sunday school class that's about to s**t
We're all [A]excited about revival week
And [E]moved by the spirit so to speak
With all the [A]souls we saved and the money we spent
We [D]thought God told us to sell that tent
I got a [A]famous evangelist supposed to come
And done [E]run out of chairs, will you loan us some?
[Verse 3] 
Joe says [A]hell you can just use the whole dang place
[D]A9 on the jukebox "Amazing Grace"
I ain't [A]supposed to open because of them blue laws
But we'll [E]open tonight if it's alright with y'all
Preacher said [A]well I reckon that'd be OK
The [D]good Lord works in mysterious ways
I was gonna [A]talk about Joshua, Judges and Ruth
And I [E]reckon I can do it from the DJ booth
[Cborus 1] 
At the [A]First Baptist Bar and Grill
It's the [D]only church in the bible belt that
[E]smells like a whiskey still
When the [A]sinners finish one more round
[D]We'll have dinner on the ground
And [A]go inside and [E]hell [pause]
pray we don't get [A]killed
[Verse 4] 
The [A]Evangelist came with a well-dressed choir
They [D]showed up around happy hour
[A]Looked around the joint and didn't take it real well
said the [E]White ministry has gone to hell
[A]Ms. Mills that taught youth Sunday school
And two [D]deacons in the back room shootin' pool
Were [A]sharin' the Lord with a Jim Beam rep
Who was [E]teachin' Ms. Mills some line dance steps
[Verse 5] 
Reverend [A]White was readin' from the book of Luke
To a [D]tall, drunk trucker about to puke
He had J[A]ohn 3:16 memorized
Tryin' to [E]dry him out to get him baptised
The e[A]vangelist yelled about the lights and the beer
Said [D]White you can't save any souls in here
This [A]place ain't nothin' but a den of sin
Ain't the [E]kind of place Baptists ought to be in
Preacher said [A]well we don't really need y'all here
You [D]didn't do a very good job last year
Only [A]saved one sinner, that's Todd McGuire
And he's the [E]little son of a b***h that set my church on fire
Joe's [A]beer joint has done been revived
Only [D]been here an hour and I done saved five.
[A]Sure it's got mirrors and a big dance floor
But I [E]finally found the flock God called me for.
[Cborus 2] 
At the [A]First Baptist Bar and Grill
It's the [D]only church in the bible belt
that [E]smells like a whiskey still
Not a [A]stained glass window anywhere in site,
Just a [D]blood-stained floor and neon lights,
And the [A]communion wine [E] [PAUSE]
is always [A]chilled.
[Verse 6] 
We're [A]here every Sunday; We're livin' large;
We're the [D]only church with a cover charge.
And if you [A]don't like our doctrine
and think we ain't devout, [E] [PAUSE]
We'll have our bouncer throw your butt out ?
Of the [A]First Baptist [D]Bar [E] and [A]Grill

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