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Watching The Detectives  Elvis Costello

      [Am]Nice girls, not one with a defect
      [F]Cellophane shrink wrap, so correct
      [Am]Red dots under a legal [F]'X'
      [Am]She looks so good that he gets down and [F]begs
      She is wa[C]tching the detectives
      "Ooh, [G]he's so cute"
      [C]Watching the detectives
      [G]When they shoot,[C] shoot,[F] shoot,[D] shoot
      [Am]They beat him up until the teardrops start   [G]
      [F]But he can't be wounded cos he's got no he[C]art  [G]

Long shot of that jumping sign
Visible shivers running down my spine
Cut to baby taking off her clothes
Close up of the sign that says, "We never close"

You snatch a tune, you match a cigarette
She pulls the eyes out with a face like a magnet
I don't know how much more of this I can take
She's filing her nails while they're dragging the lake ... (CH)

You think you're alone, until you realize you're in it
Now fear is here to stay, love is here for a visit
They call it instant justice when it's past the legal limit
Someone's scrathing at the door, I wonder who is it?
The detectives come to check if you belong to the parents
Who are ready to hear the worst about their daughter's disappearance
Though it nearly took a miracle to get you to stay
It only took my little fingers to blow you away

  [C]    Just like wat[G]ching the detectives,
      [C]Don't get cute
      [G]Watching the detectives,
      [Am]I get so angry when the teardrops start    [G]
      [F]But he can't be wounded cos he's got no he[C]art
      [G]Watching the detectives,  [C]
Watching the detectives

      [Am]   [F]                            

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squeezer (report)

I used to think it was "red dogs under illegal legs" too ... but it's not.