(intro F C F C F C Bb C7)
On the [F]bleakest day autumn could [Dm]muster
In a [Bb]church to which they'll not re[C]turn
I thought [F]back to a time when I could [Dm]trust her
To a [F]time when there [Bb]wasn't John [C]Byrne.
And in a [Gm]cruel twist of fate which so [Bb]often
Oc[F]curs in tales such as [C]this
I [F]found myself catering re[Dm]ception
And there were [Bb]urges I had to re[C]sist.
Not [F]least 'cos John Byrne is much [Dm]fitter
And the [F]straightener to [Bb]him holds no [C]fears[C7]
So if the [F]chocolate in the [A7]fountain tastes [Dm]bitter[Bb]
F C F (as intro)
It's because it's been laced with my tears.
Cele[F]brations were well under[Dm]way when
Her [Bb]father prayed silence and [C]spoke
He said "It's [F]not like I'm losing a [Dm]daughter as..."
[Bb](Violently starting to [C]choke).
And in a [Gm]gesture which said "I'm fast [Bb]fading
Could [F]somebody dial 99[C]9?"
He [F]valiantly toasted my [Dm]capers
With a [F]glass of what [Bb]he thought was [C]wine.
It was [F]gone half past [Dm]ten before [Bb]folk cottoned [C]on
F A Bb (instr)
By which time I'd landed in Wick.
So if [F]what's in the fondue's to [Dm]die for
It's got [F]nothing to [Bb]do with the [C]cheese[C7]
And if [F]what's in the [A7]punchbowl seems [Dm]lethal[F]
It's be[Bb]cause it's two-[C]thirds anti-[F]freeze.