He Who Would Valium Take Half Man Half Biscuit
(intro C F C G7 C)
The [C]car that's parked on a [F]pavement narked
Pe[C]destrians and [G7]children with [C]chalk
Their games, their shapes, their [F]capers, their japes
Des[C]troyed by a [G7]thoughtless shite[C]hawk.
And yea though I walk in the [F]road to get past, I'm [C]not in the least a[G]fraid
For [C]soon I shall fly to the [F]sweet by and by
A[C]way from a [G7]world without [C]shade.
A streaker streaks and a [F]nation shrugs at a [C]saucer-like [G7]disc in the [C]sky
A [C]stag weekend is a [F]poor weekend
If the [C]army is [G7]not on stand[C]by.
Pub grub, pub games, pub [F]bands, pub names
The [C]Pit Bull that's great with [G]kids
If [C]Chelsea, Chantelle and [F]Jordan should gel
My [C]fears would be [G7]laid to my [C]skids.
The maverick cops with their [F]average flasks and [C]boring un[G7]orthodox [C]ways
The [C]previous life as a [F]Pharaoh's wife
Is [C]mightily [G7]irksome these [C]days.
The Lady In Red hides [F]under the bed from a [C]husband who quotes Chubby [G]Brown
It's [C]cold and it's wet and the [F]knell of regret
Is [C]pealing through[G7]out every [C]town
Is pealing through[G7]out every [C]town.