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Down To The Old Pub Instead  Stephen Lynch

[G]Lad it^�s your duty to[D] find you a lass
with [C]child-bearing hips and a [D]pink supple ass
And [G]make her you wife and [D]love her with love[C] so tr[D]ue
Now, some [G]rivers run high some r[D]ivers run low
When her [C]river runs red then she st[D]arting her flow
And it^�s[G] called menstruation and[D] heres what I means to y[C]ou   [D]
You will [Em]notice her bloomers are [C]spotty at first
Stand [G]back, her ovarian [D]dams gonna burst
So [Em]don^�t be afraid it�s a [C]natural thing
Just [G]wind up some cotton and[D] give her some string
[C]Put the old linens on top of the bed
get [C]out of the house and go d[D]own to the old pub
in[G]stead.[D]    [C]    [D]
She^�ll[G] retain her water her [D]breasts will be tender
And [C]every third word that you [D]say will offend her
Get [G]out of the house and go [D] down to the old pub i[C]nstead [D]
And she^�ll[G] want to make love if you [D]do you�re a  fool
Cause you^�ll[C] only end up with a[D] bloody ol� tool
Get [G]out of the house, dow[D]n to the old pub inste[C]ad     [D]
And she^�ll[Em] want you to sample the[C] fruit of her loins
But [G]son it^�ll taste like some[D] old rusty coins
So [Em]turn off the lights boy and [C]take off your hat
And [G]drop to your knees say a p[D]rayer to st pat

Then [C]he^�ll give you the strength to get out of the bed
And for [C]Ireland^�s sake go [D]down to the old pub

in[G]stead.[D]    [C]    [D]
Now the [Em]pub is the place where the [C]lads are a meeting
[G]When the moon^�s full and the[D] girls are a bleatin
The [Em]catholic, the protestant e[C]ven the pagan
The [G]pub is the place when lady [D]is raggin
So [C]drink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks
That as [C]men folk we don^�t have to bleed from our cocks
And that [C]we can escape from the lady in red
And get [C]out of the house and go [D]down to the old pub



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