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Im Going To Hire A Wino David Frizzell
[F]li[1]ke many nights before
[C]I [1]finally made it to my feet
as she ope[F]ne[1]d up the door [C] [1]
and she said, "You're[C] n[1]ot gonna do this anymo[G]re[1]." [C] [1]
She said, "I'm going [C]to hire a wino
to de[F]corate our home,
so you'll feel more at ease here[C],
and you won't need to roam. [G]
We'll take out t[C]he dining room table
we'll put a bar [F]along that wall,
and a neon sign will point the[C] way
to our bat[G]hroom down the hall" [C]
She said, "Just bring t[C]hose Friday paychecks
and I'll ca[F]sh them all right here.
And I'll keep on tab for all your fr[C]iends
their favorite kind of beer. [G]
And for you [C]I'll always keep in stock
those sof[F]t aluminum cans,
and when you're feeling macho [C]
you can crus[G]h'em, like a man." [C]
She said, "We'll rip out[C] all the carpet,
and put sawd[F]ust on the floor.
Serve hard-boiled eggs and pretzels, [C]
and I won't cook no more. [G]
There'll be Monda[C]y night football
on TV [F]above the bar,
and a payphone in the hallway [C]
when your friends[G] can't find their car." [C]
She said, "I'm gonna [D]hire a wino,
to d[G]ecorate our home.
So you'll feel more at ease here [D]
and you won't need to roam. [A]
We'll take out t[D]he dining room table
and put a bar a[G]long that wall,
and a neon sign will point the[D] way
to our bat[A]hroom down the hall" [D]
She said, "You'l[D]l get friendly service,
and va[G]rieted atmosphere.
I'll slip on something sexy, [D]
and I'll cut it clear to here. [A]
Then you[D] can slap my bottom,
everytim[G]e you tell a joke,
just as long as you keep tippin' [D]
we'll I'll l[A]augh until you're broke.[D]"
She said, "Instead o[D]f a family quarrel,
we'll ha[G]ve a barroom brawl.
When the ham's bear says its closing time, [D]
you won't have far to crawl. [A]
And when you run [D]out of money,
[G]you'll have me to thank.
You can sleep it off the next morning [D]
while I'm putt[A]ing it in the bank." [D]
She said, "I'm gonna h[E]ire a wino,
to d[A]ecorate our home.
So you'll feel more at ease here,[E]
and you won't need to roam. [B]
then when you an[E]d your friends get off of work
and you have [A]a powerful thirst,
well, there won't be any reason why [E]you
[B]can't stop off here first.[E]"
She said, "I'm gonna h[F#]ire a wino,
to d[B]ecorate our home.
So you'll feel more at ease here [F#]
and you won't need to roam. [C#]
We'll take out th[F#]e dining room table
and put a bar a[B]long that wall,
and a neon sign will point the[F#] way
to our bat[C#]hroom down the hall" [F#]
(repeat and have fun with it)
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