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Phht You Were Gone Buck Owens
beloved song from the Hee-Haw tv show (in 3/4 time)
[C]Where, oh where, [F]are you to-[C]night?
[C]Why did you leave me here all a-[G]lone?
I [C]searched the world over, and [F]thought I found [C]true love.
[F]You met a-[C]nother and <[G]Phht!> you were [C]gone.
. . . .
[C]I miss you so much, the [F]taters need [C]diggin'
[C]The corn in the field, it needs pickin' [G]too
How [C]well I remember the [F]first time I [C]met you
[F]You looked so [C]purty a-[G]pullin' that [C]plow
. . . .
Your lips are as red as boysenberries
Your ears look like a big cabbage leaf
Your eyes bug out like an old pop-eyed mullet
Your hair's like haywire and hangs to your feet
. . . .
I thought that my love was all that you wanted
I thought that my money meant nothin' to you
I thought that the hogs would stay in the hogpen
That's what I thought dear, but you took them too
. . . .
Down here on the farm the weather gets messy
Laying around with nothin' to do
When you went away, you took my cow Bessie
I miss her darling, more than I miss you
. . . .
You took off your leg, your wig and your glass eye
And you shoud've seen the look on my face
I wanted to kiss, I wanted to hug you
But you were scattered all over the place
. . . .
I know that you loved me, here's my way of knowing
The proofs hanging out right there on the line
When I see the snow and feel the wind blowing
Your nighties hugging them long johns of mine
. . . .
The noises you made at our supper table
Your habits, my dear, were surely absurd
But how many times do I have to tell you
Soup is a dish to be seen and not heard
. . . .
Remember you phoned me a-sobbin' and cryin'
The dog bit your Maw, and drug her around
You said she looked pale and thought she was dying
I said "Don't worry, I'll buy a new hound."
. . . .
I had six kids and you had eleven
And we had a boy, and they grew like flowers
I wish you'd come back, without you ain't heaven
Cause your kids and my kids are beatin' up ours
. . . .
You took out your false teeth, your wig and your glasses.
You were just scattered all over the place.
I wanted to kiss you and hug you so tightly.
I guess that I would have if I'd found your face.
. . . .
I went to your house at three in the morning.
You had all them curlers and junk in your hair.
You would not have scared me and I'd not have run so,
If you had not looked like you'd wrestled a bear.
. . . .
I told you my darlin' you looked like a gopher.
Made you so mad, you haven't spoke since.
But tell me my darling if you ain't got buck teeth,
How do you eat apples through a picket fence?
. . . .
When I picked you up for our date last weekend.
You looked so pretty in your satin and lace.
But when I bent over and started to kiss you,
you popped a pimple all over my face!
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