,.....Badeye.

As and adult now I see the danger in what I did yet it was a story that circulated in our circle of friends for quite a while. At the time we really got a good laugh over it!

Michel

Have a good day....Badeye.

My other friend grew up with country, and he does the same thing to me. I call him a music Nazi.

My wife's colleague wanted to pull over and help the dog get away from the road, but the traffic was too intense.  So, she went on her way to work hoping the little fluffy pup would be OK.

A few days later she is doing chores around her house.  She looks out the window and sees the little fluffy dog out in her yard.  She thinks, "Oh no - the poor little thing is still lost and has wandered a couple of miles from home."  She runs outside in her bathrobe and calls the little dog.  The little dog runs right up to her all happy and wagging.  She opens the door to her car and dog jumps right in.

She drives down the road to the big house on the corner.  The dog hops right out and follows her to the front door all happy as can be.  After ringing the doorbell several times, she figures nobody is home so she goes around to the carport door.  There is a car there.  The fluffy dog follows her around and is very happy.

She again rings and knocks but gets no response.  On a whim she tries the door knob.  The door is unlocked, so she opens the door and the dog runs right in and jumps up on the couch as happy as can be.  She looks up the residents in the phone book and leaves a message on the answering machine saying she found their dog and brought it home.

The next day, she had not heard back from the residents so she gets worried about the dog and goes by the house.  Everything is still the same - a car in the carport and the side door unlocked.  She lets herself in once again and the little dog comes running to greet her.  She lets the dog out into the back yard for a few minutes and then back inside.  She puts out a bowl of water.  The dog is very happy and friendly.  She leaves a note on the kitchen counter.

Next day, she still hasn't heard from the residents.  She brings some dog food from home (becasue she didn't want to rummage through the stranger's cabinets) and feeds the dog, lets it out, etc.  This goes on for a week - daily visits to the stranger's house to tend the little fluffy dog and repeated messages on their phone.  The little fluffy dog was happy as could be.

Finally, one evening she gets a call from the residents.  They say, "Thank you for taking such good care of this little dog, but we don't have a dog.  We have been on a cruise.  The door should have been locked, but we are glad you found this cute little dog and took care of it.  We do not want a dog, would like to keep it?  If not, we know someone who's beloved pet died and they would probably like to give this dog a home."

Badeye..

So, this happened in the early 90s when I was in the Army, just after the 1st Gulf War.  The hostilities had ended and we were taking a little R&R (we being me and my friend Theibedoux) by going on a tour of the desert sands around Riyadh.  Theib was a big dumb Cajun from Louisiana.  I'm from Enumclaw, so we shared the "redneck" gene somewhere, which is why we got along so well.  So anyway, we're with this tour group, and we are way way out in the middle of the sand looking at some Bedouin artifact or another.   Theib and I wander off a bit, and before you know it, we're lost as lost can be.  And in the Saudi desert, that's seriously lost.

So we do what solders do. We started walking.  And I think we may have marched half way around the damn subcontinent, because it was getting late, and we were about out of water.   So off in the distance, we see a bunch of palm trees and what appears to be a group of Bedouins making themselves comfortable underneath it.  The closer we get, the bigger the camp site looks like, and when we finally get there, there had to be 300 people setting up for some kind of party.  We couldn't believe our luck!   So we walk in, and because we've just personally saved Saudi from the menace of Saddam Hussien,  we're welcomed in as guests, and got the meet-and-greet from all the head honcho Bedouins. They had everything there.  It was like a circus!   Piles of grub, lions on chains,  silk and wool blankets hanging everywhere, there were a pair of elephants, and a gorilla, too.   You've never partied until you've partied with the Bedouins.

So what was happening is one of the wealthier Bedouins had something like 9 daughters and it was finally time for the youngest to get married.  This dude was loaded, so she had lots of suitors.    The idea was that he would have all the young men compete for her hand, and the guy that could handle his business the best basically got to take her home, and became the son-in-law of the head honcho.    I thought that was kind of weird, but Thieb decides he's gonna marry her, and wants to enter the contest.  I guess he figured being a Bedouin-in-law was better than being a hog farmer back in Bunky, LA. At first they laughed at him but once he convinced them he was serious, and due to his status as a Genuine War Hero, they all kind of shrugged, and the honcho signed off on it.  I don't think any of them thought he had a shot, but at least it would be good for a laugh.

So anyway, the setup.  There were three tents.  The first tent was open to view.  It had nothing other than a table, a chair, and a big assed jug of this liquor that the Saudi's make themselves, because liquor is otherwise banned in the country.  I don't remember what it was called, so I'm just going to call it grog.  This stuff would take paint off walls and I think it substituted for jet fuel in a pinch.  The object of the contest:  Drink as much as you can as fast as you can.

The second tent held that gorilla I mentioned earlier.   This gorilla hadn't eaten for three days.  And it had a mouth full of bad teeth.  The object of the contest:  Pull a tooth.

In the third tent was the honcho Bedouin's most experienced, ahhh, concubine?  According to what I was told, she ate men, and spit them out in little pieces, preserving their spines for trophies.  Evidently, Honcho wanted to make sure daddies little girl was well provided for.  Ms. Concubine would prove to be the final judge of winners and losers, and ultimately select the champions for the Honcho Bedouin.   The object:  Satisfy her every need.

So the first three entrants never got passed the grog.  Theib, being a big dumb Cajun from Louisiana, had a distinct advantage over all those Arab boys who might see alcohol once or twice in their lives.   They would down a good sized tumbler full, and promptly puke it back up. Thieb had the servants running for more, as he drained the remainder of the bottle in about three gulps.  So anyway, he drinks until he's not thirsty any more, wipes off his chin, and releases the most awe inspiring belch you've ever heard, which duly impressed the shit out of everyone,  including me.

So he barrels into the second tent, and ties closed the door flap behind him.  Then it gets really quiet.  We're all wondering what is going on in there it's so quiet.  Then all of a sudden all you hear is this huge ROAAAAAAWWWWR!!!!    The earth starts to thump and dust is coming up from under the tent eaves and you'd swear to God the Devil himself is getting ready to come pouring out of that tent good an pissed off.   Then it all gets quiet again.

Out comes Thieb, and he's not looking so well.  He's bleedin' out his ears and his face is scratched and dirty, and I think he may have lost a tooth or three in the bargain.   But he's got his big dumb Cajun grin on, he hitches up his pants and says ..."OK!  So where's that gorilla?"

i probly have a million much more hilarious stories but most of them are even more unrelated to music than this one. but it was the music that brought everything on...