These came from a friend from Alabama:
When called a redneck; "I'm not a redneck. Rednecks are from Mississippi."
When something is weak; "That couldn't pull a sick whore off a slopjar."
When flabbergasted; "Well slap me silly and call me Richard."
When presented with something of low quality; "That ain't worth a pisshole in a snowbank"
When presented with something of high quality; "Its as smooth as a prom queen's thigh."
Thanks Sam,
"Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun" --Ash in Army Of Darkness