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Subject: "Dale Jarrett's Car" by Tim Wilson

Dale Jarrett's Car

Lyrics by Tim Wilson and Danny Simpson

(Spoken) Nascar fans in here at all?.... Who's got the ugliest car in Nascar? Dale Jarrett? You oughta know sir, you work for UPS. Dale Jarrett has the nastiest looking car in Nascar.

Name me three things uglier than Dale Jarrett's car
Keith Richards nekkid -- that's close but no cigar
The Elephant Man in bowling shoes with a chili vomit stain
Or french-kissing that poor woman from "Throw Momma From the Train"

Name me three things uglier than Dale Jarrett's car
Lyle Lovett nekkid, dancing in a leather bar
Richard Petty nekkid without his glasses or his hat
George Jones nekkid -- now what's wores than that?

Name me three things uglier than Dale Jarrett's ford
Tony Siragusa in a jock strap, bouncin' on a diving board

(Spoken) Y'all know Tony Siragusa? Defensive line for the Baltimore Ravens... He makes a chin strap look nasty, I'm telling you... he's so big and...

Getting caught without an umbrella in the middle of a $#!+ storm
But at least it's the same color as a UPS uniform.



== Cactus Bob ==