Topic: The Tears of Six Years

Ok - I really don't claim to be much of a poet, but I've had a lot of pieces pop in and out of my head over the years.  I was having a particularly strange day today so I thought maybe I should share something (a little self therapy perhaps).

The tears of six years
fall down upon my pillow.
My pain and my heartache
reaches out to grasp you.
Nothing to touch.
Nothing to hold.
One by one realized,
all brought to light,
each and every fear.

The tears of six years
fall down upon my pillow.
I yearn to feel you
moving inside me.
Each heartbeat.
Each nudge.
Why couldn't I see,
your soul through your eyes?
I long to hold you near.

The tears of six years
fall down upon my pillow.
There is an empty space.
Now, only here you will stay;
in my heart,
in my head,
you will always live!
Alone through the valley,
someday I'll join you there.

I wrote this with the intention of it not being overly obvious.  You might think this is about love or death between a man and woman, however it is in memory of Courtney Jean stillborn 8/21/03.  I'd like to know what your thoughts were before and after you read this part!  Thanks!  (if I should not write anymore, please TELL ME!  ha ha... I don't want to be one of "those people")

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

Re: The Tears of Six Years

pretty good keep on writing songs if you are good @ singing and don't have a band I think you should get one and sing for it Just rock on!

Re: The Tears of Six Years

hi mekidsmom, and welcome. even if your poetry was absolute rubbish [which it isnt] you would still be welcome here. the more the merrier, and the more you try the better you get!

this is a lovely piece, and yes i thought it was all about that mucky stuff were not allowed to talk about...you know going to the toilet lol

i'm sorry to hear about your little courtney jean, but as my mother used to say "they come for a reason, and they go back to the lord when he calls them" but it still doesnt make it OK to lose a child. so, sympathies and well done for translating your grief into a beautiful heartfelt poem or would it be an ode?

please continue to give us pleasure with your words.

phill

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: The Tears of Six Years

mekidsmom
I knew what this poem was about before you wrote the end part...
It's well written heartfelt it reminded me about a song
I wrote about this painful suject from a father perspective..
I hope you dont' mind me putting in your post.
called "I wonder"
You never forget......


[D] I wonder what you would look like now [G]would you stand straight and [A]tall.

[D] Yes I wonder what you would look like now [G]would you love us [A]all.

[Bm] And in my [A]thoughts [G]you stand in front[A] me.

[Bm] And you [A] face [G]I imagine that I can[A]see.

[D]Yes I wonder what you would look like now[G] I I guess [A7sus4] I will nev[A]er[D]know.


[D]As my mind recalls the past [G]of many years[A] ago.

[D] I was so much young then[G]and perhaps my loss didn’t [A]show.

[Bm]But now [A] I realise[G]just what you would have meant [A]to me.

[Bm]Now this[A] little emptiness[G] will never let me[A] be.

[D]Yes I wonder what you would look like now[G] I guess[A7sus4] I will nev[A]er[D]know.


[D]Down through the years[G]I still can remember[A] tears.

[D]As we came to  terms[G] and excepted our worst[A] fears.

[Bm]You were the[A] first[G] an expression of our[A] love.

[Bm]But you were taken [A]from us[G] perhaps on  a whim from God[A] above.

[D]Yes I wonder what you would look like now[G]I guess[A7sus4]I will nev[A]er[D]know.


[D]As time has raced us by[G]the hurt has become a just [A]sigh

[D]Just a little memory to have to hold[G]to take until I[A]die

[Bm]You are still [A]with me [G]you have never left my [A]mind.

[Bm]You were[A] something[G] that wasn’t[A] to shine.

[D]Yes I wonder what you would look like now[G] I guess[A7sus4]I wasn’t meant[A] to[D]know.

sorry about the Chords

arkady

Re: The Tears of Six Years

Thank you guys!  Arkady... you had me all teared up, that's beautiful!  I'm going to give a go at your song and see what harmony those chords bring to my voice! 

Jokergtar, I am actually a singer first and foremost.  I just picked up the guitar a month ago and it's going rather well.  Like having never actually tried to write poems or even possible lyrics before, I've also never made an attempt to be in a band.  Although, I've had lots of opportunities present themselves if only I'd taken them.

Phil... I guess it technically wouldn't be a poem since it doesn't have any proper literary points to it (did I say that right?).  LOL!  Ahhh... I guess I have written poems before, in high school, since I do remember that there are a few rules to proper poetic writing!  ha ha!  Well... I did just pull that poem (or ode as it may be) out of my butt in a matter of about 15 minutes, so maybe I'll try again with a bit more effort next time.  It served my purpose tho for self therapy!  wink THANK YOU for the welcome to the poem section of Chrodie!!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

Re: The Tears of Six Years

Got some bad news for you . . .

Now you've started you can't just stop. This is good - very good, touching and poignant. I think we'd all like to see more - when you're ready . . .

"Don't play what's there, play what's not there." Miles Davis

Re: The Tears of Six Years

Thank you StranSongs.  Sure enough... I played Arkady's song last night (with a B7 cuz I'm not ready for a Bm) and it was in fact very beautiful!  And then... I started tinkering with the words to my "ode" changing it here and there.  It was so strange how the chords and the words just started coming together.  When I get some time today I'll be re-writing and putting my little "song" on paper and see if I can actually make something out of it.  You're right... I can't stop now!!  LOL!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

8 (edited by arkady 2009-10-10 11:03:38)

Re: The Tears of Six Years

Sounds like we have a budding songwriter smile
Alot of the great songs have been written with just a few chords good luck with your composing.
ark

Re: The Tears of Six Years

This is a great piece mekidsmom,

When written from the heart  the emotion is already there.
Keep writing, Your wee baby is now forever held in your hearts. Also now brought to life in your words.

I believe we all have a guardian angel, how lucky are you with 2 .
Im going to link this pieace of music for you.

Written by  Our own Jimmy mcCarty. Sung by the beautiful Mary Black.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQOV-805rzQ

Lyrics and chords linked also for you to learn maybe ?

http://martindardis.com/wonder_child_ma … hords.html

Angels round your door with love to you in sisterhood.

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !

Re: The Tears of Six Years

ok... well I have indeed put it to music - and of course changed it a bit to allow so.  I came down with laryngitis, so I figured I might as well post the music since I can't work on the singing portion of it much more for a little bit.  God willing this laryngitis goes away soon... I have a difficult time going thru an entire day without being able to sing anything!  LOL!

here's the link to the chords posted on chordie:  http://www.chordie.com/forum/viewtopic. … 926#p82926

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

Re: The Tears of Six Years

Ok so when you get healthy we can expect a YouTube video right? =^)

"Every shortcut is a toll road"

Re: The Tears of Six Years

yep!  Well... maybe a video, maybe just the music... either way I don't have much that's decent to record on here for video or audio quality, but something yes.  Follow along on the song thread posted earlier! 

Thanks!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

Re: The Tears of Six Years

By the time it was finished I assumed it was relating to a child. I was actually hoping I was wrong. sad.
Nicely written.

"I want my 2 Dollars!!!!!"

Re: The Tears of Six Years

Thank you for your comment Stretch Papa.  I am glad that it was able to come across as what it is... yet... with the question of it it really was.  My husband keeps asking if I've written a song for him yet... I guess that will be next, although "our" song "you may be right" by Billy Joel really sums it all up!  LOL!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

Re: The Tears of Six Years

That is funny!! "Cause it just may be a luuunatic you're looking for..." LOL!!!
My wife and I don't have a song. I find it REALLY difficult to pin one down. Good luck. ha

"I want my 2 Dollars!!!!!"

Re: The Tears of Six Years

stretch papa wrote:

That is funny!! "Cause it just may be a luuunatic you're looking for..." LOL!!!
My wife and I don't have a song. I find it REALLY difficult to pin one down. Good luck. ha

LOL... yep... it became "our song" within the first few months of dating and stuck for the entire 9 years we've been together (7 married)... we even danced to it at our backyard "redneck" wedding!  LOL!  I don't know how I'll ever come up with something better than that... but I'm seriously considering TRYING now!  ha ha!  My hubby is a Union Ironworker and Tattoo Artist (but he's not covered in tats or piercings, you wouldn't know from looking at him)... he's a special breed of person all his own!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.