Topic: children

Children.                    Phill Williams.

The sound of daybreak, crystal clear.
Silent darkness lingers near.
Sol creeps quiet traverse the blue.
And rise, majestic, over roof.

The world stirs, live, with daylight friends.
As night time beasts retire to bed.
Goodnight. Good day. As moon descends.
Your way to work you will wend.

When we are gone, to dust or flame.
The sun will rise, each day the same.
And clouds will rain, and as they do.
Wash clean this Earth of me and you.

For this is how through time, years countless.
This world evolves, the species numberless.
This Earth creates then cleans the slate.
The old must die to make way for the newborn.

And so the sun falls past horizon.
A day must die for the night of passion.
New life with the break of dawn.
Goodnight. Good day. Hello sweet children.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: children

Beautiful words, Phill.

I'd find some other word for "blackboard" but other than that, I love it and its sentiment. You make very clear what you mean. smile

Bill

PS: I'm just an old "batshit crazy" former English Literature high school teacher, so feel free to tell me to go to hell. okay? wink

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Fender GDO300 Orchestral - a gift from Amy & Jim
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Re: children

Oh, and Phill?

If you wouldn't mind, your words put me thinking of this song. I was his drummer on the road for a while......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFS6zSEMpMo

Thanks and God Bless Joe South

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Re: children

I don't  think there's a problem with  the  word  blackboard ,but you  could  perhaps  change it  to  slate  if you wanted ,but  personally  I  would leave  it  as  is .

Re: children

Nah. Grah1,

Let's leave it as it is, as you say. It depends on our friend, Phill and his meaning.

"Slate" just wouldn't work, and as long as we know what he's saying, (which we both do, it seems smile  ), let's let it stand.

I'm just an old English Teacher before I changed my vocation, but have learned much since those days.

smile

Bill

Epiphone Les Paul Studio
Fender GDO300 Orchestral - a gift from Amy & Jim
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Re: children

thanks grah, slate does fit better so i've changed it. now i'm not happy with the last line....

thanks bill as grah said above; change blackboard to slate.

to me this was so depressing with all the death references, so i had to work at it to get reborn in there. fact is; i don't like the last line on both of the last two verses...any suggestions?

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: children

perhaps  these  two lines Phill

the old must  die  to  give more space                                             
   good night good day  hello new life

8 (edited by Strummerboy Bill 2015-02-08 23:52:13)

Re: children

Damn! You guys are deep. smile

"The old must die to give more space", needs some work, Grah1. I don't know what it should say, but it must be what Lennon/McCartney faced countless numbers of times, don't you think?

The "old" these days don't have to die, do they?

And "space' for the new is what?

And here are some suggested words for our friend Phill's "depressing" dilemma: Start over with:

"GOOD NIGHT, GOOD DAY!  HELLO NEW LIFE, WHAT DO YA SAY?"

Just an idea and only meant as a friend.

Your friend always,

Bill

Epiphone Les Paul Studio
Fender GDO300 Orchestral - a gift from Amy & Jim
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Journal: www.wheretobud.blogspot. com

Re: children

"Just an idea and only meant as a friend."

Just means I love to interact with y'all and I never mean to hurt feelings or criticize.

I'm just so grateful I have found some fellow musicians and poets to interact with.

Be that as it may, please disagree with anything I write, because I sure as hell can't just sit here and comment all the time. smile

As a musician with dementia, I need to interact with you all.

Thanks

Bill

Epiphone Les Paul Studio
Fender GDO300 Orchestral - a gift from Amy & Jim
Rogue Beatle Bass
Journal: www.wheretobud.blogspot. com

Re: children

I think its  good  to  bounce  ideas about  Bill  sometimes it  produces something  really  great

Re: children

Well done Phill.

my papy said son your going too drive me too drinking if you dont stop driving that   Hot  Rod  Lincoln!! Cmdr cody and his lost planet airman

Re: children

hi bill, no need to pussyfoot around me my friend i've got a hide like an elephant's rear section.;)

the part...the old must die to make way for the reborn... is meant as nature intends, a tree falls and life springs from the dying bark, your garden veg grow with the help of fertilizer which comes from cows droppings and cut grass mixed  with who knows what, but they grow and we eat them, then we make more ....you get the idea? smile

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: children

Vivid imagery in your lyrics, Phill ... very well done!

Re: children

Phill,

I like it a lot.  I was just pondering similar thoughts last weekend.  I was thinking of retiring after 37 years of teaching and coaching. And then I thought, holy crap all my friends that retired just a few years ago, it's like they never existed in the school. The same is true of another friend that retired from his job in an industrial tech setting, he went back to visit and he told me he felt like an alien from outer space.   Seems that everybody( especially today's youngsters)  hurries on by with their lives, and the new is ushered in without consideration.  I certainly realize that we all have created unknown shade trees which others have had the pleasure of sitting under through out lives, and we should take pride and solace in that,  but it does seem that today's world is so rapid and  self-serving, that the older generations are being swept under the rug , albeit unintentional, way too quickly. 
Anyway, Phill - this is a very well written poem expressing many thought provoking and somewhat  anguishing sentiments.

Well done my friend across the pond!

Jim

Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but what your mind can imagine.
Make your life count, and the world will be a better place because you tried.

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: children

thanks jim, deep answer my friend. i never thought of all the people that have come and gone from my life. i worked with a guy only for a year or two that had worked in the factory for  50 years from when he left school. he was made to retire though he didn't want to, and kept saying that if needed he would drop everything and be back to help if needed. the place carried on without him much to his surprize and he died within a year. after that i found a slogan;

                                                                 work to live. don't live to work.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: children

TF thanks for reading it and replying.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

17 (edited by beamer 2015-02-13 01:18:49)

Re: children

Phill Williams wrote:

thanks jim, deep answer my friend. i never thought of all the people that have come and gone from my life. i worked with a guy only for a year or two that had worked in the factory for  50 years from when he left school. he was made to retire though he didn't want to, and kept saying that if needed he would drop everything and be back to help if needed. the place carried on without him much to his surprize and he died within a year. after that i found a slogan;

                                                                 work to live. don't live to work.

Around here we call that "THE CARRY OUT PLAN"guys been here 50 yrs and still wont retire they will die here and get a carry out plan.. I do have a probalem with that,, isnt 30 yrs in one place enough<< come on and give the younger guys a chance.

“Find your own sound.  Dont be a second rateYngwie Malmsteen be a first rate you”

– George Lynch 2013 (Dokken, Lynchmob, KXM, Tooth & Nail etc....)

Re: children

Excellent piece of work Phil - well done

I want to read my own water, choose my own path, write my own songs