Topic: the visit

this is more of a short story than a poem I suppose. I have never written either. funny how a little dog can bring back memories I couldn't sleep tonight thinking about her . I hope you like it and maybe it brings back a happy memory of some one you miss


i set the six pack of beer on the counter and asked the clerk for a pint of Smirnoff vodka. he looked at me kind of funny and said beer and vodka? you ve been coming in here for years and buying nothing but Evan Williams what's the occasion? no occasion i told him the vodka is for my dad and the beer for my brother i haven't seen them for a long time and i am going to pay a visit. they don't drink much any more but daddy sure liked his Smirnoff back in the day.
i paid my bill climbed in truck and drove to the florist
told the lady i need one red rose. she asked me who is the special lady? i told her my mother i had not seen her for a while and was going to see her. one red rose for all she put up with , its the thought that counts is what they say
so i climbed back in my truck , one red rose one six pack of beer and a pint of vodka and headed home. it was late in the afternoon on a clear blue fall day when i pulled into the yard
it is strange how i remember them, i see my mother when i was very young. i see her rocking me before she sends me of to the school for the first time. i see my dad sitting with me on the front porch on a starry night of that old two bedroom frame house i bought from uncle Harvey. i see my brother walking down the dirt road to mom and dads house coming out the woods from hunting deer with a rifle slung over his shoulder.
i get the rose the beer and the vodka and walk over to where they are resting not sure what to say after all these years, will they even hear me? i tell mom i love her and place the rose on her grave. i open the vodka for dad and tell him i miss the fishing trips and nights on the porch under the stars having a drink. i tell my brother he left way to soon and i quit hunting after he left it just wasn't fun anymore as i share the six pack with him
the sun has gone down as i finish my beer, its going to be a clear cool starry night in the east Texas pines just like i remember.

out of tune out of key and out of touch

2 (edited by TIGLJK 2016-09-30 10:10:01)

Re: the visit

very moving Mojo

A wonderful way to remember.

Those are exactly the moments I was writing about in the song I posted last week.

I think you should do a version of that song... smile  or put this tremendous story to lyric and chords
Thanks for sharing it

Jim

Your vision is not limited by what your eye can see, but what your mind can imagine.
Make your life count, and the world will be a better place because you tried.

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except only the the best." - Henry Van Dyke

Re: the visit

Not only is your short story well writen it is also very moving. I think you should submit it to a magazine to be published. Mojo you have a excellent ability to put words together.

Re: the visit

I almost cried as it reminded me of my own mam and dad.you do have a way with words and you built this up beautifully to the twist at the end.

Great work.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: the visit

Wow, that was very teary and touching mojo01 .............. beautiful, thanks for sharing.

Laugh Lots ... Forgive Much ...  Love one another     smile
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