Topic: Never work with animals.

Hi all,
just thought i'd share a funny (sic) story with all you chordie regulars, well it's funny now.
My wife and i took our two boys aged 7 and 2 to a city farm type thing today, they keep rare breeds and the like there.The city council are closing it down later this year in an efort to save some money, so i thought i'd better take my youngest along before it's gone, his elder brother has been a few times before and he likes seeing those beasts that you dont see everyday living in the burbs.

Anyway we'd gone all round the place and seen all manner of pig's and sheep and a few ponys too and they sure do love an apple to chew on.My eldest son is well used to feeding the horses and such like, his technique is if the animal in question does'nt get the apple off his hand first time, well then he throws it in the field and they find it themselves, he's a smart kid.

Dad (me) on the other hand is a lot dummer, i kinda like them getting it out of the palm of my hand, that way i actually feel like im' feeding said animal and it keeps the dirt off the food, i mean who wants to eat mud, right?

This is how after the third try at feeding an apple to a not quite fully grown Clydesdale horse i found myself in a wee spot of bother, the apple had fallen to the ground and the thumb of my left hand was still in the horses mouth.Well the horse had'nt seen the apple fall, i reckon he thought it was just a bit tough, either that or the STUPID human guy wanted it back, because thats when he started putting on the pressure.

Now i dont know the exact amount of pounds per square inch a horse can bite down with, but i sure am glad they have flat teeth, all i could think about was how long will it be before i can play guitar again if he breaks my thumb. My wife, godbless her, had managed to get the apple back, it had fallen just insde his fence, and she was trying to get his attention with it (sods law it was the last one) but he still was not letting go, i mean why would he? as far as he thought he already had one in his mouth.

In the dying seconds of this farce she had one of those eureaka moments where the lightbulb goes off in your head, she ended up rubbing the by now mushy apple on the horses nostrils, thats when he let go, presumably lured by the smell of easier to chew food.

All i can say is thank god there were no witnesses to this, could you imagine the scene, a nearly middle aged man with his hand in a horses mouth and a fairly younger woman rubbing apple on its nose while two young kids look on with mouths hanging open.

Im' not sure if theres a moral to this tale, if there is mabey its that city boys should stay in the city and leave the damm animals alone, or mabey feed them like a kid -just throw it over the fence.

Either way i still have my thumb, i also have a VERY, VERY red face.
thanks for listening, i just had to tell someone.

Longboarder.

see you out the back. big_smile

Re: Never work with animals.

Great story longboarder,

I think you now have the basis for your first song on the forum,

An apple a day keeps the doctor away,
Unless it is fed to a horse,
Its teeth missed the apple and sank into my thumb,
Left the wife and kids laughing and me feeling dumb.

lol lol lol

Roger

"Do, or do not; there is no try"

Re: Never work with animals.

Being a horse fanatic myself, I thought this was quite funny. But as a fanatic I also know it hurts! smile Sorry about your hand, hope it gets to feeling better soon!

I'm a musician; I can [color=blue]Handel[/color] it!

Re: Never work with animals.

Moral of the story is "Keep your thumbs out of large animals." 

Not a real useful moral, but I think that's what it is.

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: Never work with animals.

Hi,
tex, thanks for the sympathy, i take it you've had the bite put on you before?
Roger, thats some interesting lyrics you've got, im' sure there's a tune to be had out of it.
zurf, that may not be a moral, but it sure is good advice.
just keep smilin'.

smile smile

longboarder.

see you out the back. big_smile

Re: Never work with animals.

Longboarder, yes, I've been bit plenty of times! It's not always been just my hand either!

I'm a musician; I can [color=blue]Handel[/color] it!