1 Topic by jamier (edited by jamier 2013-11-08 05:06:22)

  • jamier
  • jamier
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  • From: Johannesburg
  • Registered: 2010-05-20
  • Posts: 101

Topic: 1st attempt at writing

You and I were flying so high
Told by you I was your only guy
Top of your voice your undying love
I never saw the steel in the velvet glove

Your eyes lied a thousand times
Your words betrayed your selfish crimes
Whats done is done, can't go back
I guess you better go and pack

I thought you had angel wings
Saw too late the puppet strings
Sharing your love aint for me
go to him, leave me be

Great memories soured and spoiled
Is this the love for which we toiled?
Consumed by rage - system crashes
All I taste are bitter ashes

What now is left but the parting of ways
Good while we lasted - a fashionable craze
It's over and done, don't bother to cry
My love is dead - bye bye bye

  • From: NY
  • Registered: 2009-08-26
  • Posts: 4,320

Re: 1st attempt at writing

Very well written Jamier, the hurt and anger comes though in the well too known story of love and betrayal.

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

mekidsmom's Website

  • jamier
  • jamier
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  • From: Johannesburg
  • Registered: 2010-05-20
  • Posts: 101

Re: 1st attempt at writing

Thanks Mekidsmom, a bad time in my life but getting the feelings down onto paper ( and then computer ) seemed to help ease the hurt.

Jamie R

  • jamier
  • jamier
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  • From: Johannesburg
  • Registered: 2010-05-20
  • Posts: 101

Re: 1st attempt at writing

Thanks Mekidsmom, a bad time in my life but getting the feelings down onto paper ( and then computer ) seemed to help ease the hurt.

Jamie R

  • Registered: 2009-11-16
  • Posts: 605

Re: 1st attempt at writing

I liked that, been there had that done to me too

  • From: Stockton-on-Tees UK
  • Registered: 2010-07-22
  • Posts: 146

Re: 1st attempt at writing

Hi Jamier

Seems you hit a chord here.  I'm a member of this club too.  I also found it helped to ease the pain a little by writing a song about my feelings.

Thanks

Ian

All things good to know are difficult to learn.
Greek Proverb
  • From: NY
  • Registered: 2009-08-26
  • Posts: 4,320

Re: 1st attempt at writing

Sorry to hear this is a true story for you.  I've found music to be an excellent therapy Jaimer... writing and then singing ... helps a LOT with getting those feelings out.  Keep up with it!  smile

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

mekidsmom's Website

  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,649

Re: 1st attempt at writing

hi jamie, welcome to chordie. if this is your first attempt it looks like we have a lot to look forward to. well done, shame it's due to sad circumstances, but that's where a whole lot of inspiration comes from.

phill

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

  • jamier
  • jamier
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  • From: Johannesburg
  • Registered: 2010-05-20
  • Posts: 101

Re: 1st attempt at writing

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.

Jamie

  • Registered: 2007-04-03
  • Posts: 3,489

Re: 1st attempt at writing

Good stuff !

Yes , I am no different , ive been there also.

Its a hard ole road but it paves the way to learning from the experience.

I liken it to a death ! We have to accept and thread our own path with or without.

Very well written piece.

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !