I'm kinda like the guy that has played golf for years but still can't break 90 for 18 holes. I enjoy playing, but will never be considered "good".
Years ago I tried playing at a few local bars. I found that if I played songs people knew, they would soon figure out I wasn't very good, so I tried finding obscure songs to play but invariably someone in the audience would be familiar with the song and know I was butchering it. Next I began writing songs and attributing them to my friend "D.E. Howard" (my knick-name Dirty Ed combined with my middle name), and told the audience that if they didn't like the songs I'd tell ol' DE that he sucked. I haven't played anywhere but open mics and creek banks for the last 25 years but still about 95% of what I play is what I've written, so who knows if I'm playing it wrong?
I want to read my own water, choose my own path, write my own songs