1 (edited by Buzzwagon 2011-09-26 10:36:21)

Topic: Paraprosdokians

PARAPROSDOKIANS surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. Ok, so now enjoy!


1. Do not argue with an idiot....
He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you....
But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound....
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you ....
we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up ....
we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right ....
only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit....
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,'
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism....
To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops....
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career....
Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says,
'In case of emergency, notify: I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault ....
I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman....
Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience ....
is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way....
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive....
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness ...
but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling....
and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive....
Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old ....
to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target ....
shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia ....
isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable ....
except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian ....
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell ....
in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home ....
even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt....
Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire ....
remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Live the life you love, love the life you live

Re: Paraprosdokians

Brilliant!

Re: Paraprosdokians

That is great.It`s also true

Enjoy Every Sandwich
Nothing In Moderation  -- Live Fast. Love Hard. Die Young And Leave A Beautiful Corpse. -- Buy It Today. Cry About It Tomorrow.

Re: Paraprosdokians

You have a great collection there buzzwagon, if you send stuff like these too Readers Digest books you get paid!! I think its around $100.00 ea. You might have a high end Guitar in that list.

my papy said son your going too drive me too drinking if you dont stop driving that   Hot  Rod  Lincoln!! Cmdr cody and his lost planet airman