1 (edited by Peatle Jville 2018-02-25 07:57:30)

Topic: Ripples Over Calm Water

Easybeat asked me to come up with something new for chordie this is the best I could do.  I hope it is not confusing in the  Kiwi way it is written

Ripples Over Calm Water

As I stand to face the sky.

Looking for a song to send out.

Waiting on words and tunes to come.

My precious stone to throw  into calm waters.

A small seed to make ripples around this earth

Within this restless, hurried, modern world

For a very brief  moment no more  the sound of words and music.
I  speak to the few who love me.
Those who think I can come up with a perfect dream
Looking  to me in their exhaustion.
Me the wrong one  without any clear  vision.

My only answer,your tired overworked  have a *moe my darling .
You will find yourself  in a  dream a vision of  what you want for  your  future..

For all of us there are distant thoughts just about to rise above the ocean.

Underneath the depths is  clever air and new   ideas .
Above the depth of despair a universe of posibilities.

Whirling around  the horrizon .

Slow and steady when their ready.

Probabilities out there drifting towards my fragile shores.

A sandy shore  full of grains and rocks  waiting for a  good tide to wash away unwanted debris .
The power of the  moon. pulling and pushing   emotions.
A common bond shared by all  a need  for a clear light

Painted  thoughts   in differant colours pushed by invisible wind.

With a line or two

I will unfurl my sails.

Singing out at the top of my voice a part of my soul once hidden.

Without fear of truth.
My  inner  self screams out make it fair for all..
From life's depth  powerful explosions push out of my mouth.
Sent to wake sleeping minds.

Riding on sound waves in my head good  music.

Smashing into and running over any negative thought.,

Strong lines holding sails to the mast while heading towards a promising  horizon..

Floating in and over  the  harshness of unpreditable  swirls and tides
Something  a  power better than me keeping my ego humble..

A common belief in good powering my speeding vessel.

Challenging  oncoming waves.

Out of the unexpected  a time of peace is found a perfect moment  to drop my song  a peice of stone into calm water.
*Waiata now bringing differant souls together.

*Haumi e hui e taiki e  let it be done.
As ripples spread over calm water.
From beneath the four winds.
My song will flow.
                                                     * Moe (sleep )
                                                     * Waiata (song)
                                                      *Haumi e hui e taiki e  ( let it be done ).

2 (edited by Tenement Funster 2018-02-25 09:56:16)

Re: Ripples Over Calm Water

An amazingly written poem ... which comes with it's own thesaurus nonetheless ... brilliant!!!

Peatle, I know we always try to encourage one another with positive comments, but this is truly stellar work. As I read through the third time, I imagine a musical landscape like Pink Floyd's "Us and Them" for it. Clean swirling minor-key notes carrying this dream through it's pathways, until the final verse closes in major-key notes to alter the mood for the positive conclusion.

You, TIG, and CTECH have written some amazing stuff recently, but this is right at the top. Good on ya, mate!

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Re: Ripples Over Calm Water

TF thank you  for your kind comments . I agree with you our Distinguished Musicologist TIG, and CTECH have written some amazing stuff recently,  Maybe later on in the year when I get together with my  guitarist Robert we might put this poem into a musical landscape like you sugested. For now I have just recorded me reciting it link atttached
https://soundcloud.com/eatleville/rippl … alm-waters

Re: Ripples Over Calm Water

Peatle, so good, I agree with TF`s comments, this is top notch!  P.S. you sound very much like Sam Hunt as you recite this poem.

Laugh Lots ... Forgive Much ...  Love one another     smile
Covers and some Originals found over there    ------- >    https://soundcloud.com/ukulelejan

5 (edited by Peatle Jville 2018-02-27 10:01:26)

Re: Ripples Over Calm Water

Thank you Jandle for your feed back. I wasn't sure if this poem would make sense to any one.  For those who don't know who Sam Hunt is. Here he is doing one of his poems.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=briIZAVmhOY

Re: Ripples Over Calm Water

Epic work Peatle. You say it's in the Kiwi way to me it's in the "romantic" style all it's missing are the thees and thous you'd expect from Shakespeare. Can't wait for the Floyd version.

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Re: Ripples Over Calm Water

Phill I say unto thee thank you for thy comment on my efforts as a scribe of verses.

Re: Ripples Over Calm Water

Excellent poem Peatle Jville. Very well put together.

Hard times create strong men,Strong men create good times,Good times create weak men,Weak men create hard times.Cantwere rice INVICTA!

Re: Ripples Over Calm Water

Cheers ctech glad you could follow my poem.