Topic: Music life sucks....

*sigh* where to begin...

Okay, I've been playing guitar for close to 3 years now and I'm not the best but I'm not the worst either (I don't think).

However, my problem is finding people to play with. I have co-workers that all play guitar but getting them to actually play is like pulling teeth. They bring their guitars in to work and just let them sit and I wind up playing my myself during my lunchbreak. But everytime I pick up my guitar to try a riff that I heard in a song, everyone wants to grab my guitar and practice. I'm like "WTH your guitar is sitting right there! Play it!" Then there's the people that visit from our other facility that persist in rattling off the names and types of all the "Expensive" instruments that they have...but when you ask them about what they last played, all they can do is repeat the names of their gear.  To me, this screams "I have a bunch of expensive art sitting in my basement or hanging on the walls".

So, after realizing that no one I come into contact with on a daily basis is ever going to do anything worthwhile with their instruments, I decided to look elsewhere for someone to play with. I came upon an ad for a christian band. The ad was for a guitarist for their band. As I am a christian and a guitarist...I answered. When I arrived with my guitar for the interview, the bass player asks me to play bass so that he can learn guitar. (Another WTH moment) But I didn't care, I just wanted to play with some people and as they had a whole band I figured that would be better AND i could learn a new instrument. Well, 2 gigs, 15 songs and 4 months later...they tell me that I'm getting dropped from the band cause my skill on the bass isn't progressing fast enough. (ANOTHER WTH moment!!!) I mean, I had never touched a bass before they asked me to play it. How the heck do you expect me to get to professional-level playing bass in less than 4 months!?!
I mean, seriously...get off the crack. So I said whatever and walked...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not being prideful or anything but I just can't believe that there isn't someone else out there that is learning as well that would like to have someone to play with.

So far, the only time I've found that is when I hired this college kid to teach me some things on guitar and I wound up teaching him! I was paying him 50 dollars an hour to jam with him and teach him the things I knew on guitar. Needless to say, after 2 lessons going that route I told him that I couldn't pay him anymore to teach him, but if he wanted to get together and jam that was kewl.

Never heard from him again...

I play lead guitar in church but they just don't understand the guitar cause all they know is "Piano/keyboard, Drums and singers". For instance, we had an event for our church last sunday where people from other churches were visiting and when I was playing people were looking at me like I was an alien or something. It's so bizarre to see their faces because I can see that they like what I'm playing but they just can't accept me as being a part of the music. I get the same flak from the rest of the musicians too. The keyboardist wants me to follow him and what he is playing all the time. I have to constantly remind him that I'm:
1. Playing a guitar.
2. Not slash.
3. Not a noodler.

I mean, seriously...he's been playing keyboard since he was 4 (19 now) and is like frickin beethoven on the keyboard and is always all over the place. So he and the drummer wind up doing their thing and I'm on the outside as usual. I never get qued for key changes while the songs are being played and no one ever even lets me know when choir/band rehearsal is. If I didn't ask or show up I would never be in it.

Yeesh, I'm just looking for someone who plays as much as I do everyday or is at least interested in jamming. I mean, is everyone THIS self conscious and/or pathetic? I'm just trying to find my place in this musical world but the more I look, the more I hate what I'm seeing. yet I read all of these wonderful stories of people finding others to play with and having all this fun. Right now I don't believe a word of it. I'm as alone in this world musically as I was when I was born into this life.

Dangit,
Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

Re: Music life sucks....

That is a sad story indeed.  How about your neighbors?  Play on your front porch and see if anyone approaches you.

You can see all my video covers on [url]http://www.youtube.com/bensonp1000[/url]
I have finally found happiness in my life.  Guitars, singing, beer and camping.  And they all intertwine wonderfully.

Re: Music life sucks....

Control your own destiny and play solo. I play 90% of my gigs solo. It's much easier to organize practice sessions and decide on which songs to play......

Give everything but up.

Re: Music life sucks....

bensonp wrote:

That is a sad story indeed.  How about your neighbors?  Play on your front porch and see if anyone approaches you.

Well, there is a guy downstairs from me that plays bass.
Maybe he would like to play sometime...
I'll try him this weekend.

sad
Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

Re: Music life sucks....

SouthPaw41L wrote:

Control your own destiny and play solo. I play 90% of my gigs solo. It's much easier to organize practice sessions and decide on which songs to play......

Yeah, I was thinking that way too. I play to get a Boss RC-2 and just create my own drums and rhythm section and just play with myself.
(Musically, not physically)

I'm so tired of searching for someone to play music with.

Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

Re: Music life sucks....

Hey Detman.

Don't let them grind you down. I'm probably going to get slated for this but your average band member is narrow-minded, a wannabe-clone, cliquey or just not worth the time.

I'm a singer who took up the guitar 32 years ago to be able to accompany himself. At one stage I had my one and only guitar nicked and applied to lots of bands in the area who were looking for vocalists. With one the bass player liked what I did and after 5 or 6 rehursals broke it to me that the rest of the band didn't want me. Another band (who overtly wanted to be a clone of another band who's 15 minutes passed by and left them in obscurity) insited I buy mics and other kit and after I'd got it said they didn't want me after all. The worst thing that most bands do is assume that all a singer needs to do is start singing - yeah, just like you can take your stringed instrument out the case and without tuning or warming up make Steve Vai look like Mr Slowhand.

I gave up on bands and concentrated on doing my own thing and improving my guitar ability (when I finally got a replacement) - Now.... lots of people want to know me but if I don't like what they are saying I don't even think about it.

Your dedication and perseverance WILL pay off!!!!!! Remember: Talent instantly recognises genius but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself.

Keep playing and forget about anything outside of what you do and watch 'em come to you.

<-----<< On an even field, only talent prevails! >>----->
   Gans Gwarak da yn dorn yu lel, gwyr lowen an golon!
        >>-----> [color=#FF0000]Rudhes[/color] hag [color=yellow]Owres[/color], Kajima <-----<<

Re: Music life sucks....

KajiMa wrote:

Hey Detman.

Don't let them grind you down. I'm probably going to get slated for this but your average band member is narrow-minded, a wannabe-clone, cliquey or just not worth the time.

I'm a singer who took up the guitar 32 years ago to be able to accompany himself. At one stage I had my one and only guitar nicked and applied to lots of bands in the area who were looking for vocalists. With one the bass player liked what I did and after 5 or 6 rehursals broke it to me that the rest of the band didn't want me. Another band (who overtly wanted to be a clone of another band who's 15 minutes passed by and left them in obscurity) insited I buy mics and other kit and after I'd got it said they didn't want me after all. The worst thing that most bands do is assume that all a singer needs to do is start singing - yeah, just like you can take your stringed instrument out the case and without tuning or warming up make Steve Vai look like Mr Slowhand.

I gave up on bands and concentrated on doing my own thing and improving my guitar ability (when I finally got a replacement) - Now.... lots of people want to know me but if I don't like what they are saying I don't even think about it.

Your dedication and perseverance WILL pay off!!!!!! Remember: Talent instantly recognises genius but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself.

Keep playing and forget about anything outside of what you do and watch 'em come to you.

Thank you so much. I desperately needed that encouragement.
I see you've had the run-around with bands too. I don't want to get into that again anytime soon I don't think. People are just too finicky over the most ridiculous things when you don't really know them.

I'm going to write down that quote and tape it to my guitar.

Thank you,
Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

Re: Music life sucks....

Thank YOU Detman,

That was Arthur Conan-Doyle in one of the Sherlock Holmes stories and it stuck with me.

One of my regular "Jamming-For-The-Audience" sessions has a guy who thinks he's brilliant but is the least talented muso there. He tries to drag everyone down to his level by overplaying them or simply slagging them off and will not be told, or even asked, by anyone.

I "announced to the crowd" (for his benefit) that quote and things have been much improved towards me, but he's switched his negative attentions to others. There's still one song (Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out) I've all but stopped playing 'cos he insists on noodling all over the turn around which is supposed to be sparse/staccatto and asking him not to/stopping singing and playing over those bars and every other technique I can think of will not sway him from being a right royal pain.

Moral: You will always meet pains, but follow the advice in my last post and they will (mostly) be easier to deal with.

<-----<< On an even field, only talent prevails! >>----->
   Gans Gwarak da yn dorn yu lel, gwyr lowen an golon!
        >>-----> [color=#FF0000]Rudhes[/color] hag [color=yellow]Owres[/color], Kajima <-----<<

Re: Music life sucks....

Bands that have been together for awhile are pretty picky.  I have seen a lot of single guitar players and singers doing their own thing on small stages and they were wonderful.  The more people in the band, the more people you have to please.  All bets are against you.  Keep going bud.

You can see all my video covers on [url]http://www.youtube.com/bensonp1000[/url]
I have finally found happiness in my life.  Guitars, singing, beer and camping.  And they all intertwine wonderfully.

Re: Music life sucks....

Ah, so I stood even less of a chance of permanency with them than I thought.
Now I see why most bands are people that have known each other for a while.

Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

Re: Music life sucks....

Form your own band.

If you are putting it together you call the shots.

<-----<< On an even field, only talent prevails! >>----->
   Gans Gwarak da yn dorn yu lel, gwyr lowen an golon!
        >>-----> [color=#FF0000]Rudhes[/color] hag [color=yellow]Owres[/color], Kajima <-----<<

Re: Music life sucks....

Hey DM ,
   Boy , if you had any idea how much I've seen this and dealt with it myself in my forty five years of playing guitar ... I personally know several gifted players who just have no ambition or motivation and it drives me crazy , especially due to the fact that these people are also gifted singers and could easily make a living playing out ... I finally got tired of even trying with them and just quit inviting them to jams ... Still , every once in a while I'll hear one of them say " yeah , I gotta start playing more " , and I just shake my head , L O L .... Like Southpaw says , just go solo and keep on , you'll be happier in the long run ...
    Hey Kaji ,
   Sherlock Holmes and the Doc. are still two of my favorite literary characters , great quote .......
                   Jerry

" Just reading the lyrics , it's hard to hear the song , but if the words tug at the heartstrings......it's enough for now........... "

Re: Music life sucks....

Where are you at, man?  I'll jam with you.

Someday we'll win this thing...

[url=http://www.aclosesecond.com]www.aclosesecond.com[/url]

Re: Music life sucks....

Yeah, me too.

You can see all my video covers on [url]http://www.youtube.com/bensonp1000[/url]
I have finally found happiness in my life.  Guitars, singing, beer and camping.  And they all intertwine wonderfully.

Re: Music life sucks....

G S E wrote:

Hey DM ,
   Boy , if you had any idea how much I've seen this and dealt with it myself in my forty five years of playing guitar ... I personally know several gifted players who just have no ambition or motivation and it drives me crazy , especially due to the fact that these people are also gifted singers and could easily make a living playing out ... I finally got tired of even trying with them and just quit inviting them to jams ... Still , every once in a while I'll hear one of them say " yeah , I gotta start playing more " , and I just shake my head , L O L .... Like Southpaw says , just go solo and keep on , you'll be happier in the long run ...

                   Jerry

Oh...My...gosh...

I get that every-bloody-day at work. My co-workers constantly talk about how they play drums and guitar but never want to play.
It's ridiculous. Sometimes I just want to tell them to shut up...but that would be mean....so I don't.
I, too, wind up shaking my head a lot. My boss even plays. And the thing is that he can sing his tail off!! I know that he can play very well but he just never seems to want to jam. I got him to jam with me one time after work but of course I had to head home and get ready for bible study that evening. Since then he hasn't really been playing any of his 4 guitars at work very much.

Though he did mention that he was buying wall-hangers for his office so that he could decorate his office.... (rolleyes)

My one co-worker that is also in a band (off and on) plays bass and guitar but she only seems to want to play MY guitar as soon as I pick it up to practice on my lunchbreak. I don't try to be mean to her but I have to tell her "NO, I'm playing my guitar now. Show me whatever you are thinking about later when I'm done on your guitar or play with me." Of course, she never plays with me.


Well, there is one silver lining to this dark cloud of my life. And that is my friend Jamaica. She is the only friend I've had that is always down to Jam.
She is literally, the only person that I know that plays as much as she talks about it...and that is just awesome. Sadly, she won't be playing as much as before cause she is pregnant now.
If you're wondering why I don't play with her as much as I used to its because I work and live about 70 miles from her and I'm married and I have a kid so no time for much traveling to the other side of the state....lol.

=/
Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

Re: Music life sucks....

jerome.oneil wrote:

Where are you at, man?  I'll jam with you.

Frederick, Maryland.
Far from where you are, sadly.

Thank you though...

=/
Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

17 (edited by Zurf 2009-04-09 20:56:17)

Re: Music life sucks....

Detman101 wrote:
jerome.oneil wrote:

Where are you at, man?  I'll jam with you.

Frederick, Maryland.
Far from where you are, sadly.

Only 1/2 hour drive from me, though.  My resume is pretty freakin' weak.  A quick summary: I suck at singing (but do it anyway, often loudly).  I play out-of-practice blues bass poorly, out-of-practice-and-never-that-good-to-start-with country and folk harmonica, and sissified-70's-folk/pop acoustic strumming with a little fingerpick I make up on the spot (but without the neat little whiznits or any sort of recognizable melody that make the songs actually sound good).  Not too appealing.  But if you can put up with me, I'll put up with you.  At least for an hour or two until we're tired of each other.   I won't even charge you to teach me.  No need to thank me.  That's just the generous kind of guy I am.  And I'll probably bring beer.  It makes me sound better when you drink it.   

Sounds like we could at least have a good time telling stories. 

You can check out my songbooks on the public songbook section.  Search using "Zurf".  I can't play everything in them.  A lot of the songs are stretch songs.  But what the heck.  Let's stretch. 

As far as printouts, I've got the "Jesus Songs" and the "Not Jesus Songs" songbooks.  If you're into Christian music and don't mind getting into some Country Gospel, I've been working on a song a buddy of mine wrote.  He's got a fantastic deep and resounding bass that my reedy nasal voice does nothing for, but the words are powerful.  It's about generations and Jesus and demonstrations of faith.  I do a fingerpick rhythm treatment on it and it sure could use a few nice lead licks. 

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: Music life sucks....

Zurf wrote:
Detman101 wrote:
jerome.oneil wrote:

Where are you at, man?  I'll jam with you.

Frederick, Maryland.
Far from where you are, sadly.

Only 1/2 hour drive from me, though.  My resume is pretty freakin' weak.  A quick summary: I suck at singing (but do it anyway, often loudly).  I play out-of-practice blues bass poorly, out-of-practice-and-never-that-good-to-start-with country and folk harmonica, and sissified-70's-folk/pop acoustic strumming with a little fingerpick I make up on the spot (but without the neat little whiznits or any sort of recognizable melody that make the songs actually sound good).  Not too appealing.

There ya go.

That resume, and a case of beer, and you two will be Big Rawk Stars in no time at all!  big_smile

Someday we'll win this thing...

[url=http://www.aclosesecond.com]www.aclosesecond.com[/url]

Re: Music life sucks....

Hey Detman,
I run in to the same problem. The people I find to play with either dont like the music I play or are so egotistical that I dont want to play with them. I think Southpaw is right, best to just play by your self. I find its easier and alot less of a hassel

Everything is bad including me
But being bad is good policy
Reverend Horton Heat

Re: Music life sucks....

Zurf wrote:
Detman101 wrote:
jerome.oneil wrote:

Where are you at, man?  I'll jam with you.

Frederick, Maryland.
Far from where you are, sadly.

Only 1/2 hour drive from me, though.  My resume is pretty freakin' weak.  A quick summary: I suck at singing (but do it anyway, often loudly).  I play out-of-practice blues bass poorly, out-of-practice-and-never-that-good-to-start-with country and folk harmonica, and sissified-70's-folk/pop acoustic strumming with a little fingerpick I make up on the spot (but without the neat little whiznits or any sort of recognizable melody that make the songs actually sound good).  Not too appealing.  But if you can put up with me, I'll put up with you.  At least for an hour or two until we're tired of each other.   I won't even charge you to teach me.  No need to thank me.  That's just the generous kind of guy I am.  And I'll probably bring beer.  It makes me sound better when you drink it.   

Sounds like we could at least have a good time telling stories. 

You can check out my songbooks on the public songbook section.  Search using "Zurf".  I can't play everything in them.  A lot of the songs are stretch songs.  But what the heck.  Let's stretch. 

As far as printouts, I've got the "Jesus Songs" and the "Not Jesus Songs" songbooks.  If you're into Christian music and don't mind getting into some Country Gospel, I've been working on a song a buddy of mine wrote.  He's got a fantastic deep and resounding bass that my reedy nasal voice does nothing for, but the words are powerful.  It's about generations and Jesus and demonstrations of faith.  I do a fingerpick rhythm treatment on it and it sure could use a few nice lead licks. 

- Zurf

Whoa awesome!!
Zurf, I have a place we can practice at too if you feel like turning the amps up to 11. There are amps for Bass and Guitar already at the lab and I've got a drum machine too. I would love to accompany you on the song your buddy wrote. And if we get it sounding good we can record it too!
I play all kinds of music, including some contemporary christian and COGIC Gospel. hehehe, I can't pay you but if you're up for some jamming I'm game. smile I will send you an email/PM with my info later.
Feel free to click the link under my avatar to see my youtube videos.
I have a good feeling that we both will learn from each other good.

smile
Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

Re: Music life sucks....

selso wrote:

Hey Detman,
I run in to the same problem. The people I find to play with either dont like the music I play or are so egotistical that I dont want to play with them. I think Southpaw is right, best to just play by your self. I find its easier and alot less of a hassel

True true, but if things work out and I get to play guitar with Zurf and a few others from here, I get the feeling all this suffering will have a silver lining.


Hallelujah!
Dm

"Talent instantly recognizes genius,
but mediocrity knows nothing more than itself."

-Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle

Re: Music life sucks....

Hey Detman, I'm so happy that you and Zurf might get together to jam.  That's awesome!  I feel like you too sometimes.  I started playing the guitar about 3 yrs ago, after a 25 yrs absence.  I was a very, very novice player at that time and my playing skills have drastically improved since I took it up again.  All those years ago I lived around many people who played.  Amateur mostly but quite a few professionally too.  There would always be a jam going on somewhere.  It was great.  My boyfriend, who was a musician, was also teaching me how to play bass.  When I broke up with him and moved away I stopped.  Partly because all the instruments were his and partly because I couldn't afford to buy my own.  Now that I'm playing again I have nobody where I live now to jam with either.  So a year into my new hobby I got my husband a small drum and then a Bass, so now we jam together.  smile I still wish I had another guitar player to play with and learn from though.  Maybe someday.  But maybe you could get your wife an instrument of some sort.  Even a tambourine!  It's been great for our relationship.  We're our own biggest fans!  big_smile  Anyway, you guys have a great time when you get together.  All the best.  Happy Easter.

RavenLady

That's All Non-Violence is
--- Organized Love---
        Joan Baez

Re: Music life sucks....

Nice RavenLady.  I wish I could get my wife to play or sing along.  She's got a beautiful singing voice and has a seamingly innate sense for music.  She had two years of piano lessons she didn't want when she was a very young lady, but the lessons of timbre and pitch and rhythm have lasted all these years.  Sometimes when she's had a couple glasses  of wine and the friends are around the campfire in the back yard, she'll sing along.  I love that.  My little girls have started to sing along.  I love that too.  They ask for the same lullaby every night -"Featherbed" by John McCutcheon.  I must have sung that song 10,000 times now.  Each of them asks for it every night.  They've been memorizing it, and now they sing it with me.  With the eldest, I've started taking in my guitar and accompanying.  It's awful to hear from the perspective of anyone outside the room, but the two of us in there think it's the sweetest music ever made. 

Detman - I hope I can live up to your expectations.  I approach music as a fun hobby.  I'm not a serious player, but I do love getting together with other musicians and seeing what we can do.  My acoustic doesn't have a pickup, so if we're going to record anything we'll need some mics, which is something I haven't got.  Even for our own benefit, I think playing back what we did for the purpose of critique-ing ourselves would be an exceptional learning opportunity.   

I'll send you an e-mail.  I've got a young family myself, so my time is not my own, but with adequate planning I'd like to think we can get together soon.  I'm about to start lessons later this month after three years of teaching myself bad habits and letting myself off the hook from good practice technique.  Goodness knows where that will lead. 

I'm more likely to be able to help you with your bass playing than your guitar playing.  There was a time when I was actually half-decent on the bass.  That time has passed with my concentration on the guitar.  While my execution is rusty, my knowledge is still in there somewhere and I'd be happy to share.  If you were playing weekly in a band for four months, I'd guess that you got pretty good. 

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: Music life sucks....

Oh, and there's a song I've been working on in memory of my father-in-law.  I can't get it the way I want it and another perspective would be appreciated.  My song-writer friends tell me I'll never be satisfied writing about someone that close. 

- Zurf

Granted B chord amnesty by King of the Mutants (Long live the king).
If it comes from the heart and you add a few beers... it'll be awesome! - Mekidsmom
When in doubt ... hats. - B.G. Dude

Re: Music life sucks....

I gotta tell ya, this thread is chock full of win, and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

And I've not even started drinking yet!

Someday we'll win this thing...

[url=http://www.aclosesecond.com]www.aclosesecond.com[/url]