1 Topic by Ray Melton (edited by Ray Melton 2010-06-16 22:44:04)

  • From: Adelaide , Australia
  • Registered: 2006-06-04
  • Posts: 129

Topic: The Empty letterbox

Hi all just a little poem I wrote , trying to be tongue in cheek but get the point across, I got the idea when I just went out to get my mail one day..a true story....wish I could think of a tune for it....:)

The Empty Letter Box     

I dreaded coming home to see what the postman had  inserted
Into my little  letterbox and  I know this sounds perverted
Hardly ever was it empty nor was it all good news
Only bills from banks and such , not much to amuse

And things I knew nothing of  but still I had to pay
Credit cards of many kinds, my funds they did decay
I’d see the name on the envelope and my blood would just run cold
From Westpac down  to Citibank, emblazoned there so bold

I’d open them with cold despair and look with disbelief
At Interest rates of 30% , I cried “Good f***** Grief!! "
She has gone mad , I speak my piece, but to no avail
She says to me “ Don’t be a scrooge, besides, it was all on sale !"

Well, She gets a private mail box so no longer do I see 
But who do they call when the bill is not paid , silly bloody ME !
I crack the biggest wobbly and fall down in a heap
I  say beware of what you sow , for  you shall surely reap…

Rules were made, but not obeyed, this man was ground to paste
Till trust is gone  and all is done and a family’s laid to waste
Now  I sit in  my empty house , and hear only the ticking of the clocks
But revel in the joy that is … the Empty Letterbox.

A five yr old could understand this. Somebody fetch a five yr old !
Groucho Marx
  • From: Tooele Ut
  • Registered: 2006-03-04
  • Posts: 4,049

Re: The Empty letterbox

Good one Ray.  This talks to most of us.

You can see all my video covers on [url]http://www.youtube.com/bensonp1000[/url]
I have finally found happiness in my life.  Guitars, singing, beer and camping.  And they all intertwine wonderfully.
  • T-Rex
  • Senior Member
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  • Registered: 2009-09-16
  • Posts: 158

Re: The Empty letterbox

I love this; really fun! write on-T

  • From: Adelaide , Australia
  • Registered: 2006-06-04
  • Posts: 129

Re: The Empty letterbox

Thanks  T Rex, but it wasnt fun unfortunately....although I think I can just laugh now ...;)

T-Rex wrote:

I love this; really fun! write on-T

A five yr old could understand this. Somebody fetch a five yr old !
Groucho Marx
  • Registered: 2007-04-03
  • Posts: 3,489

Re: The Empty letterbox

Excellent Ray,

I to could relate to this piece. many years ago i found myself in the same situation.. It was such a shock to discover.

In my case it wasn't my doing.. I wonder where peoples "Cop on" disappear to with credit cards. Its invisible money your spending, but still your money with astronomical interest.. Credit cards make it to easy to purchase stuff people  don't need.
Deal  only with hard cash" is my motto, Its one way of knowing what money you have or haven't.
In saying that ! I do use them to book holidays , or bigger items more for security reasons.. Its always  paid within the stated times, with no huge interest. I'm sure I'm not there favorite customer.

T'is  a strong well written understandable piece of work, which most people will relate to..

Well done.

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !
  • From: The Land Of Song
  • Registered: 2007-12-10
  • Posts: 5,649

Re: The Empty letterbox

Hi Ray,

I think we've all been there and done that. My first wife was murder, this was before credit cards, thank God! even when we got divorced she still kept sending me bills for her clothes and stuff. I told her she gets money from me for the kids not so she can go out on the razzle!
Fortunately Mrs Phill no 2 is great with money, and the bills get paid before they hit the mat.

Great bit of writing, tells a story and puts a point across with style, though I will admit it would be hard to put a tune to it.

Phill

Ask not what Chordie can do for you, but what you can do for Chordie.

Phill Williams's Website

7 Reply by Ray Melton (edited by Ray Melton 2010-06-17 23:10:01)

  • From: Adelaide , Australia
  • Registered: 2006-06-04
  • Posts: 129

Re: The Empty letterbox

Wow , thanks Old Doll and Phill for your wonderful encouragement and praise for my writings, you have made me feel I can actually write something ! lol .. as you said Old Doll, hard cash only...and it did all go on rubbish..none of my doing..and Phill , I am in the same boat now , my second is a lot better !

A five yr old could understand this. Somebody fetch a five yr old !
Groucho Marx
  • T-Rex
  • Senior Member
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  • Registered: 2009-09-16
  • Posts: 158

Re: The Empty letterbox

Hi Ray, I guess in re-reading I get your deeper meaning, however, I think what I found fun about your piece earlier was the somewhat lighhearted and easy flow in the way you've written this piece.  Really fine writing.  -T

  • selso
  • selso
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  • From: El Paso, TX
  • Registered: 2007-07-18
  • Posts: 994

Re: The Empty letterbox

I know exactly how you feel, ray

Everything is bad including me
But being bad is good policy
Reverend Horton Heat
  • From: Adelaide , Australia
  • Registered: 2006-06-04
  • Posts: 129

Re: The Empty letterbox

Thanks for that T rex, really appreciate that

T-Rex wrote:

Hi Ray, I guess in re-reading I get your deeper meaning, however, I think what I found fun about your piece earlier was the somewhat lighhearted and easy flow in the way you've written this piece.  Really fine writing.  -T

A five yr old could understand this. Somebody fetch a five yr old !
Groucho Marx
  • From: NY
  • Registered: 2009-08-26
  • Posts: 4,320

Re: The Empty letterbox

Very good Ray!  It does have a lighthearted feel to it like T-Rex said... and then the empty letterbox.  I said good, I meant GREAT!  Many of us find a doosy the first time around... then we learn the hard way and don't travel that road again!  Thank you for sharing this piece with us!

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

mekidsmom's Website

  • From: Adelaide , Australia
  • Registered: 2006-06-04
  • Posts: 129

Re: The Empty letterbox

Thanks again MKM, yes you are dead right about the first time round....ouch...

mekidsmom wrote:

Very good Ray!  It does have a lighthearted feel to it like T-Rex said... and then the empty letterbox.  I said good, I meant GREAT!  Many of us find a doosy the first time around... then we learn the hard way and don't travel that road again!  Thank you for sharing this piece with us!

A five yr old could understand this. Somebody fetch a five yr old !
Groucho Marx
  • From: Adelaide , Australia
  • Registered: 2006-06-04
  • Posts: 129

Re: The Empty letterbox

Inspired I truly was by everyones kind comments on my pice of previous poetry, I would like to inflict this upon you all. A very dark piece written when I was at my lowest point in my life and my life long battle with depression... I read it now and cant believe that I wrote THIS .....

The Black Dog         

He came to me in early days
As a pup he  held no fear
He’d follow me , occasionally
Close but never near

Years would pass without a sign
Of him I’d never think
Then he’d come to me, suddenly
And leave again in a blink

What brought him back, more frequently
I could never tell
To bother me, disturbingly
And make a living hell

The things in life that we hold dear
Can be a burden too
You just cant see, tragically
What they do to you

The dog has grown larger now
Fed by my regrets
Feeding   free , hungrily
Larger still he gets

Now he doesn’t leave at all
To feed him is a chore
He glares at me, malevolently
I have no soul no more

I’ll starve the cur, I’ll see him gone
But I know he will not die
He’ll leave me be, temporarily,
And watch me quietly cry

So who and what is this Black Dog
With eyes so fierce yet sad
Just like me , melancholy
I want my Mum so bad…….

A five yr old could understand this. Somebody fetch a five yr old !
Groucho Marx
  • Registered: 2007-04-03
  • Posts: 3,489

Re: The Empty letterbox

Hello Ray,

I was just having a quick gander here before retiring.

This is a dark piece, but so well written . I love dogs, but i could imagine a fearsome dark beast  while reading this.
Unfriendly yes, snapping at your heals yes, dragging you down to every dark stagnant pool he can muster  to drown the life from you.. Yes, i knew this dog at times in my own life. Its well muzzled now but his fear remains  away in the shadows somewhere.

Start Journaling every day, first thing in the morning if you can.. Theres not a better way to start the day clearing mind clutter. It doesnt have to be pages, just one page is ofton enough.
You may be surprised at how well it keeps the dog at bay.

Its an excellent piece,worth its merit on a new thread.

I wish you joy with peace of mind in abundance.

Oiche Mhait" [Goodnight }

Old Doll.

Why Blend in with the Crowd ? When you were made to stand out !
  • From: Adelaide , Australia
  • Registered: 2006-06-04
  • Posts: 129

Re: The Empty letterbox

Thankyou Old Doll, you know I am doing just that , journaling that is..I heard it helps so Im giving it a shot.Sir Winston Churchill coined the term "The black dog " for depression I believe and when I first heard it I thought that is exactly what it is !

Old Doll wrote:

Hello Ray,

I was just having a quick gander here before retiring.

This is a dark piece, but so well written . I love dogs, but i could imagine a fearsome dark beast  while reading this.
Unfriendly yes, snapping at your heals yes, dragging you down to every dark stagnant pool he can muster  to drown the life from you.. Yes, i knew this dog at times in my own life. Its well muzzled now but his fear remains  away in the shadows somewhere.

Start Journaling every day, first thing in the morning if you can.. Theres not a better way to start the day clearing mind clutter. It doesnt have to be pages, just one page is ofton enough.
You may be surprised at how well it keeps the dog at bay.

Its an excellent piece,worth its merit on a new thread.

I wish you joy with peace of mind in abundance.

Oiche Mhait" [Goodnight }

Old Doll.

A five yr old could understand this. Somebody fetch a five yr old !
Groucho Marx
  • From: NY
  • Registered: 2009-08-26
  • Posts: 4,320

Re: The Empty letterbox

Excellent Ray.  This one really speaks very loudly to the one thing that most people choose to whisper about while they want to shout.  Very well written.  Keeping that dog at bay...

Art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder.
What constitutes excellent music is in the ears of the listener.

mekidsmom's Website

  • From: Adelaide , Australia
  • Registered: 2006-06-04
  • Posts: 129

Re: The Empty letterbox

Thanks again MKM, I am keeping that damn dog down a bit more lately, like to give him a good kick really...

mekidsmom wrote:

Excellent Ray.  This one really speaks very loudly to the one thing that most people choose to whisper about while they want to shout.  Very well written.  Keeping that dog at bay...

A five yr old could understand this. Somebody fetch a five yr old !
Groucho Marx