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Hello,
I am 22 years old and I haven't touched my guitar in 5 years.
Two years ago I moved to Mesquite, TX to be with my boyfriend, who is very musically talented and supportive.
Watching him for two years reminded me of how I just gave up on guitar without giving it a fair shot.
In order to tell you about what I want I first have to explain why I walked away from it.

For my 15th birthday I was given an old acoustic guitar, a silverstone if I remember correctly, the paint has rubbed off so I'm going on memory here.
I was so excited to begin guitar. I had never considered the fact that I had absolutely no musical background nor had any family members that were musically talented in any fashion. They were academics, not musicians.

I started lessons the same day I was given my guitar. My teacher was very nice, an old hippie if I had to guess, and I learned the basics from him and I still remember the majority of the chords. In true teenager fashion I slathered the body of the guitar with stickers even though I knew it would compromise the sound. I didn't see what harm it could really do. Listening to it now, I understand.

My first day of guitar also became my worst day of guitar. I used to attend an evangelist church that had a tendency for vengeance. I had questioned some things and in return they had decided to teach me a lesson. I was forced to perform in front of the church playing a song with the three chords I knew. I was mortified and humiliated and everyone laughed and teased me about it for the rest of the time I lived in that state. It remains the most humiliating moment of my life. I know I didn't learn the lesson they wanted me to learn (thankfully) but they did achieve the damage they wanted to afflict on me.

That was a crushing blow to my self confidence. I didn't know how to get over things like that until a few months ago when I had some magical epiphany and felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. Back in Hawaii, I'd practice weekly like I was told to, but instead of listening to what I was playing I relived that moment in church over and over and couldn't stand to hear myself play. 5 years passed and I realized on my 20th birthday that in 5 years I had not made a single improvement. I chocked it up to not having an ounce of musical talent. Feeling bitter shame in my heart for giving it up I put it away in a closet and moved on with life.

I don't like to give up on things. Ever. I don't have to be the best but I want to succeed and at the very least not suck at it. It would be one thing if I didn't enjoy playing it, but I did. I liked the feeling of the strings and just about everything about it. I felt like I was doing myself a great disservice by not going through with it, but lacked the abilities to go forward with it.

Right now I'm back in my home town and I looked at that silent guitar, covered in dust, felt it mocking me for giving up and took it out and set it on my lap.

My epiphany back in Texas was simply put -- those people were horrible people; Hypocrites; liars; cheaters people that had an obvious bias against me. If asking questions was my horrible sin than none of it was my fault. Anything I could have developed in the musical department was squashed by them and my lack of self confidence. So I want to start over. I know the basics. I know the chords. That's the money part of it.

Now what I need is help...where should I go next? I've always been horrible at strumming, never been taught to listen to rhythm or the changing of notes, I've been trying to teach myself. I do not have a developed ear. I am going to have to study harder and practice longer than the average person. I am going to have to unlearn bad habits.

Long story just to ask a short question, I know, but I figured my story wasn't very common so I wanted to explain myself.