TIGLJK wrote:I think it needs a chorus that changes the progression up.
I thought the same thing when I read it this morning. I took a slightly different approach to breaking up the steady D C G. Instead of writing new lines for a chorus, I changed the chord progression every 4 lines. I also moved the C a little farther along in the line. The lower case C is in the original position. The song seemed to flow smoother for me where I placed the capital C.
D c C G
To all of those in my life who care about me,
D c C G
my eyes are filled with hurt, so much I can't see.
D c C G
Just please have patience, for I've fallen again,
D c C G
no matter how hard I try, I feel I just can't win.
Em Am
I brush myself off, put my feet back on the ground,
Em Am D
because I know there's a reason, why I'm still around.
Em Am
I try as hard as I can, to do my very best,
Em Am D
but it seems like all my efforts, never please the rest.
D C G
I feel like all the people, I care about the most,
D C G
don't acknowledge me, it makes me feel like I'm a ghost.
ETC, ETC.
Just my 2 bucks. (inflation ya know) 